i shouldve seen it coming

I tried to listen but when your page open its says "connecting" then "failed" in the muisic player?
Maybe something wrong on your end, I don't know.

If you post your lyrics in text here you will get feedback (at least from me)

Pete

N.B. > this should probably be posted in the "Hear here" section, right mods?

Same happened to me ...

weird...ill check it out and sry about the whole lyrics thing ill post em in a bit

here are lyrics i wrote the first verse type thign when i was in that sad part right after a breakup and the second part speaks for itself.

Your still lying next to me
when im sleeping in my bed
But i cant get warmth from a picture frame
or a faded sillouette

you were the opiate prolonged of mine
with a price not worth the fleeting high
and withdrawl symptoms setting in I
I shouldve seen it coming

was i blind
was i naive
were the signs clear enough to read
how much time
will i have to grieve
until i feel some sort of sign of relief

i was a simple choice and i chose you but you ran away
despite what you conveyed the actions you displayed
have left me in my curret my current my current state

this darkened space that is my room
is certain to become my tomb
better etch the letters in the door
i hope you never find a better boy

when your wandering abandoned streets
dont you dare come crying back to me
your not worth the explitive delete
so go beg at someone elses feet

and i pray that they turn you away
and your left alone until you reach your grave
and when the letters placed in order say
if only i had stayed well if only you had stayed

i guess i wasnt that blind
i guess i wasnt naive
in fact ive never seen things quite this clearly
no amount of begging
could cause me to concede
its a simple choice and ive made mine so nwo that we agree

its a simple choice and i choose to forget
everything that has happened since the day that we met
despite my previous notion that i wont be fine
trust me now that your gone im gonna be alright

Hi beans

I think you've got a really good song here. I can see how someone coming from a breakup could relate to this.

On first reading, my only though was that the seond verse, while conveying the resentment that is being felt, was too harsh, almost making you not want to sympathise with the character the song is about. However, after reading it again I think that it fits in well with the feeling and flow of the song.

Post once you get the music working so we can have a listen

Pete

ok the music SHOULD be working now if u wanna go have a listen