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Ignorant

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 PJS
(@pjs)
Eminent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 19
Topic starter  

Ignorant:

I watch the seasons change
I see the summers turning grey
I know the reasons change
the sorrow still stays the same

Always waiting for something
Alway praying for something

You know the things that they say
fortune comes for those who wait
seek the truth in your pain
burn yourself just to feel nothing

Always waiting for something
Always praying for something

There's no one out there
no one cares
All alone, no one out there
no one hears your prayers

I watch you fall away
I see the tears as you curse my name
I know the reasons change
the sorrow still stays the same

Always waiting for something
Always praying for something

----

There might be some words spelled wrong...english isn't my strongest language, tough I still write in english...for some reason my finnish lyrics always end up in the "I sound like a friggin idiot" file

Feel free to comment it...i'll be thankfull for any advice and comments you have...


   
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(@gmilam)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 159
 

I like this a lot...

My only comment would be that I would keep the perspective the same throughout. You start out talking about yourself...I'd keep that theme.

v2 example:
I know the things that they say
fortune comes for those who wait
seek the truth in my pain
burn myself just to feel nothing

v3 example:
There's no one out there
no one cares
All alone, no one out there
no one hears my prayers

they watch me fall away
They see my tears but curse my name
I know the reasons change
the sorrow still stays the same

Just a thought....I like the dark mood of it.

Good stuff

I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was - White Goodman (Dodgeball)


   
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 PJS
(@pjs)
Eminent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 19
Topic starter  

I see your point, the problem is tough, that changing the perspective of the story will also change the meaning of the story.

I meant the song to be about people that watch other people hurt them self and not giving a damn about them...So If you tell the story from the self-destoying perspective (that would make a good name for a song) the whole ignoring someone theme doesn't come out....

Actually i got the idea for the song about the Metallica son "god that failed". I thought that it would be cool to do a song about those mindless lambs who trust blindly in the things other people make them believe...Ofcourse the metallica song isn't about that. Or at least I think it's not...

But thnks anyway


   
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