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lady of the night

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(@hurricane)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 35
Topic starter  

hey ya.
been away on holiday found something to say.
kinda quirky wee number. short i know but intended that way.
let me know what you think..........if you like.

Had my fortune told
to me it seemed bold
old val said
"ok your a bit of a looker,
try avoiding four divorces
and a hooker"

see this predictions
really got me
so much so that my
mind cant be free
how fast shall my life unfurl
to produce four failed unions
and a working girl

ill just take each day
as it comes
try to cope with the
twists and the turns
be a good man
try not to lose sight
and attempt to resist a
... lady of the night.

And i'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it and reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it.- Bob Dylan,a hard rains gonna fall


   
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(@sally45)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 56
 

I really like this...especially

"ok your a bit of a looker,
try avoiding four divorces
and a hooker"

"to how fast shall my life unfurl
to produce four failed unions
and a working girl"

the power of synonyms :D

short and sweet ties together nice at the end....a chorus could really add to it though.

nice job.


   
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(@alterego)
Estimable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 83
 

8) job hurricane. is kinda funny too in that "ok your a bit of a looker,
try avoiding four divorces
and a hooker"
part.

http://poemasmuertos.blogspot.com/


   
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