First lyrics post, I hope you like it :D It's not my usual style, so I'm not sure I'll work it up for the band, but here you go:
Well I thought I'd show my girl
To a real good time
Some premium cooking
With some first rate wine
We went to Gibraltar's,
She looked great, more or less
And we met a drunk named Glen
When he puked on her dress
So she started throwing,
Throwing a fit
And Glen said brother
Could you give me a lift?
I figured I could use
Someplace to hide
So I said, Glen, let's go for a ride
I might be crazy
May be sick in the head
And when my girl finds out
Well I might as well be dead
But I don't care
'cause tonight I'm free
Out on the town
Just my wino and me
We tore up a macy's
Trying on suits
That we couldn't afford
With some designer boots
'till we got into a fight
With a surly cashier
And had to haul a*s
When Glen bit off his ear
Then we went to a concert
Started livin' it up
But he kept on drinking
and I guess he'd had enough
He passed out on a table
So I dragged him to my car
In his sleep he started moaning
Take me back to the bar
I might be crazy
May be sick in the head
And when my girl finds out
Well I might as well be dead
But I don't care
'cause tonight I'm free
Out on the town
Just my wino and me
She was nothing but trouble
And neither was he
But we sure raised some hell
My wino and me
And he taught me the secret
To a good romance
Get your woman drunk,
And ask her to dance
I might be crazy
May be sick in the head
And when my girl finds out
Well I might as well be dead
But I don't care
'cause tonight I'm free
Out on the town
Just my wino and me
Hey WTW, I'm not sure what your "usual" style is, so I've nothing to compare this against - but it reads pretty well for a first draft. Just a couple of places where it needs tightening up ("Show my girl to a real good time," for example - the word "to" isn't needed. "And we met a drunk named Glen..." - IMO, "till we met a drunk..." would be better.
What I'm trying to work out is, are the wino and the narrator one and the same? Is Glen the narrator's "inner wino?" Neat twist if it is - but, if so, you'd have to do something about this verse which tends to say they're not the same person....
"He passed out on a table
So I dragged him to my car
In his sleep he started moaning
Take me back to the bar..."
I like the idea of the "inner wino" - if you are going down that track, I think you're pretty much there. Just that one verse is a little confusing.....
Musically, I've no idea what you're thinking - usually I try and put a melody or chords to lyrics like these, so's I can get a sense of the rhythm. Default setting, 12-bar blues - that'll cover anything from slow blues to fast rocker, and this seemed to work well as a fairly-uptempo piece.
...I'm not sure I'll work it up for the band...
So....work it up for yourself. You're at least 75% of the way to a good song, IMO - I'd like to see (and possibly hear) the finished version.
Good luck with it!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
I agree with Vic, the verse about passing out on the table doesn't really work if Glen and the narrator are the same person. I also had a few problems with the references to his girl finding out - surely she was aware of his being wild when he/Glen puked on her dress and then took off? And why is she "nothing but trouble" towards the end? To me, it reads a bit like two different stories (one romance, one about the drunk) being welded together, but I think it needs some work to make this complete. The alternative would be to lose/diminish the romance references.
That said, you should work on this - there's definitely the beginnings of a song here and potential for it to develop in an interesting manner; it just needs a little tightening up. I look forward to seeing/hearing it progress!
Oh, and welcome to GN!!! :D
