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New song - feedback on lyrics plz, mp3 tomorrow

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(@dneck)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 630
Topic starter  

EDIT this is now a song, a sweet one at that
A E B7 E
how many nights must I lie awake waiting
A E B7 E
for a sound or a sign of a wandering love
A E B7 E
and how many lights can be dim but not fading
A E B7 E
before love trickles down through the leak up above

D#dim(5714) E D#dim E

How many times did I hear your voice calling
but I turned a deaf ear as I was turnin' my back
But my thoughts are all tied and my hopes are all falling
and someone to catch them is all I lack

How many times can I hear my heart breaking
before i wise up and just never get cut
But with the blood drippin down oh the pictures I am painting
Ill leave it wide open and never to shut

And im watchin you leave but im not too worried
Cause somehow ive always been drawn to you
I know just where to go theres no need to hurry
In the pictures I painted, in the places you drew

And in a lifetime maybe well pass on a streetcar
but a quick glance and avoidance is all I'll see
and we brush for a moment on our way to the exit
and Ill watch you walk away from me

"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile


   
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(@jonetoe)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 365
 

Just thought I would add this, you might not think its fits and I used the love and above thing again. Those are good verses, maybe just a chorus is needed

How many days must I toil and sweat

so I can prove i'm worthy of a conditional love

why is it I keep seeking acceptence I never will get

I fall on my knees in a plea for help from above


   
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