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New Song (Reborn the feelings) comments and suggestions plz

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(@diluted_metal)
Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 31
Topic starter  

I understand your feelings
I understand your pain
You think life is worthless with nothing to gain
But literally, physically, mentally that's not right
You gotta hold yourself and fight
You gotta heal the wounds and live tonight

So I see yourslef fall
So I see yourself crawl
So I see yourself cry
So I see yourself die

So you stand at the edge of live
You're arne't sure is living live dead
You'd rather be more happy if it was the end
At the the end of things, something is worth livin
You see homless kids runnin
So why do decay our earth?
Why do we allow hate the power of birth?

So I see yourslef fall
So I see yourself crawl
So I see yourself cry
So I see yourself die

So you find the truth
Found the feeling that you were meant to
Dont cry at the end
Dont cry at night
Do cry for the hate and rather fight
So dont lose yourself
Rather help someone else

So I see yourslef fall
So I see yourself crawl
So I see yourself cry
So I see yourself die

I love Slipknot, Korn, System of a Down, Ill Nino, Fear Factory, Statc-X, Machine Head, Mudvayne, DevilDriver and South Africa's greatest metal band Seether.


   
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(@pierson)
Reputable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 367
 

dude i thought this song was kick a$$. it came to me as a anti-suicide type song. Rather than end yourself (or give up hope) fight back! I wrote a song like this. i'll pm it to ya. Dont cry at the end
Dont cry at night
Do cry for the hate and rather fightBest part. Keep posting these deep songs, man. Love this stuff.

Keep it up!

There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!


   
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(@diluted_metal)
Eminent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 31
Topic starter  

Thanks for the comment, shot and thanks. i got more of these songs, i'll post them up next week.

I love Slipknot, Korn, System of a Down, Ill Nino, Fear Factory, Statc-X, Machine Head, Mudvayne, DevilDriver and South Africa's greatest metal band Seether.


   
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(@martin-6)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 418
 

"I see yourself _____"

I am troubled by the grammar in this line. It looks like English, but doesn't conform to the rules of that language.

Possible alternatives which rectify this matter:

"I see myself _____"
"You see yourself ______"
"I see you _____"


   
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