New to Forum ... so "hi" and stuff

'Welcome' to GN! Not many people visit this area so you might want to introduce yourself in the general forum. As for the song, wouldn't mind hearing the mp3 so I can hear how it falls together. Why not post it on soundclick so the people on the 'here here' section can give more feedback? If you don't want to put it online you can mail it to me, will tell you what I think of the lyrics and give feedback on whatever further aspect you want me to comment on.

Thanks. Sending the file now. It's a very rough cut, but I'm just looking for any type of criticism or general thoughts. When you play something over and over to yourself alone in your room you can lose perspective on what you were doing in the first place. At least for me.

Okay, here we go:

The lyrics biggest pro/con is that it is a rather vague text and there was no concrete picture in my head when I listened. I'm quite sure that is something my literature teacher would have strongly disliked. Personally I like it, this way I can think of my own stuff without being limited by whatever you were thinking. It fitted pretty well, so no need change anything for that reason either. So keep them like this, unless your #1 goal wasto make a big statement. If that was the case you've got to make it more obvious.

As for the song itself, I could have used some sort of 'outburst' somewhere in the song, or a constant and slow increase in volume and agression from the get-go. Where the song could really use some more power was during these lines:
Now I can't fight this feeling anymore
So I ... turn to where you still lie

However, that doesn't really seem to go well with the lyrics I guess. Maybe take a look at NiN-Hurt to see how they gradually build a song up, it is somewhat the same kind of song. Your singing was good, no real need to complain there. It gets a bit 'feeble' at some points, somewhat how the Radiohead/Coldplay vocals go.

As for the technical side: only thing you could improve without spending money is recording the two tracks seperately and increasing the volume of the guitar a bit. Maybe add some ultra light compression to the voice. Final minor bit of criticism: the title could be better. Sounds great as a final line but doesn't really do it for me as a title. If you'd want to stay with the lyrics 'Hollow Man' or something would be a better choice, IMHO. All in all a good song, got more stuff like this?

Herzlich willkommen zum musikalischen Irrenhaus.

Wo kommst Du denn her?

Ach, Greybeard,

Wir mussen hier Englisch sprechen

Gruess (no umlaut on this keyboard)

A :-)

Heh, that wasn't the title. I usually title my songs with the first or last line of it from the get go .. just to keep em separated on my computer while in the working stages. My initial thought was "Hollow Soul". But I like "Hollow Man". Reminds a bit too much of T.S. Eliot though.

The middle part of the song you quoted ... I totally agree. That has been the weakest part of the song from the get-go. I will end up completely changing that. I just knew I needed something to break up the monotony of the song. I also liked your idea of the song continuing to increase in volume a la Hurt .. great song.

I'll give it and try and see how it comes out. Thanks for listening!

Also, any mixers your recommend? I'm clueless in that department.

Cool, glad to have been of any help. Keep us updated on the progress. :D

As for mixers, depends on what your budget is and what quality you need. Behringer makes excellent homestudio mixers. I got the UB1202FX. 4 seperate mix-lines, 4 stereo inputs, FX processor included, all for E79,-. If you only want to record one microphone at a time (first guitar, then vocals, for example) you only need a very basic one, like this one:
http://www.musik-produktiv.de/shop2/shop04.asp/artnr/9503127/sid/!x03nlnlc/quelle/listen

They have a whole bunch of different models so every few extra euro's will get you a bigger model. See for yourself what you need and what you expect to need in the near future. The one I use is this one:
http://www.musik-produktiv.de/shop2/shop04.asp/artnr/2515061/sid/!x03nlnlc/quelle/listen

With that one I can plug in my keybord, E-guitar, bass, mixers and whatever FX equipment I need. If money is a concern you might want to go for an FX-less one and add the FX using freeware software programs. Behringer also sells a whole bunch of microphones, starting with the 29,- XM1800 set ( http://www.musik-produktiv.de/shop2/shop04.asp/artnr/2817057/sid/!x03nlnlc/quelle/listen ]) and ending with some pretty expensives ones. No idea where you live, but you might want to check MP. Last time I was here they had all the Behringer mixers and microphones they show on their site (and some more!) on stock.

ps. what's up with limiting the max length of the [url] tag?

Ach, Greybeard,

Wir mussen hier Englisch sprechen

Gruess (no umlaut on this keyboard)

A :-)

Woas? Na, so 'n Sch.....

:lol: :lol: :lol: