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Sleep Darling

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(@the24factorsofseandonovan)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 32
Topic starter  

Wow, it's been almost two years since I was last posting on this site. But I'm back with a new name (used to be constantyne), and a new philosophy to my writing, I think. Anyway, here's something I've had written since the beginning of the month. It's short, sweet and simple, a lullaby of sorts. I know it needs a little work, but let me know...

Here it is.

Sleep Darling (Everything's Going to Be Fine)

Sleep my darling, you will not be in harm
I'll protect you and keep you safe it my arms
Rest your head and close your eyes
Everything is going to be fine

Sleep my darling, I'll be here for you
Golden slumbers are all that's waiting for you
Rest your head and close your eyes
Everything is going to be fine

Sleep my darling, you have nothing to fear
No more nightmares, this song is all that you'll hear
So rest your head and close your eyes
Everything is going to be fine

Maybe a little repetitious...
I may have a recording posted soon. Just let me know what you think.

And the fire from within burns undying!
http://www.myspace.com/seandonovanmusic
http://www.garageband.com/artist/seandonovanmusic
http://www.soundclick.com/the24factorsofseandonovan


   
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(@iwillbefamouswatchme)
Trusted Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 32
 

I liked it.wasn,t amazing but it was nice 7/10. I recommend changing fine to alright or just fine becuase it has better flow to it. that like sounded kinda disconected when i tried to sing it. also the same problems happens with the golden slumbers like, it doesnt sound quiet right when you sing it. would love to hear it how it was supposed to be. overall good just needs some polish


   
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(@the24factorsofseandonovan)
Trusted Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 32
Topic starter  

Okay, the link to my Soundclick profile is in my signature. The mp3 is up, so check it out.

And the fire from within burns undying!
http://www.myspace.com/seandonovanmusic
http://www.garageband.com/artist/seandonovanmusic
http://www.soundclick.com/the24factorsofseandonovan


   
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(@lwj001)
Reputable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 160
 

If you wanted to standardize the verse lengths,
here's the original and a suggested version.

Sleep Darling (Everything's Going to Be Fine)

Sleep my darling, you will not be in harm =10
I'll protect you and keep you safe it my arms =11
Rest your head and close your eyes =7
Everything is going to be fine =9

Sleep my darling, I'll be here for you =9
Golden slumbers are all that's waiting for you =11
Rest your head and close your eyes =7
Everything is going to be fine =9

Sleep my darling, you have nothing to fear =10
No more nightmares, this song is all that you'll hear =11
So rest your head and close your eyes =8
Everything is going to be fine =9
---------------------------------------------

Sleep My Darling (Everything's Going to Be Fine)

Sleep my darling, for you will not be in harm =11
I'll protect you in the safety of my arms =11
Rest your head and close your eyes =7
Everything is going to be fine =9

Sleep my darling, for I'll be right here with you =11
Golden slumbers are waiting in twilight hue =11
Rest your head and close your eyes =7
Everything is going to be fine =9

Sleep my darling, for you have nothing to fear =11
No more nightmares, this song is all that you'll hear =11
Rest your head and close your eyes =7
Everything is going to be fine =9

Kingwood Kowboy
Author of over 6,600 song lyrics
http://www.kingwoodkowboy.com/


   
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