Song for someone. (Link to recored song insde)

There! completed the lyrics. Only part I'm not quite pleased with is the "Trying to figure out, Why it's always the same" part. The "Trying to figure out" is hard to fit with the strumming and music.

Recorded it now with my headset mic!:)

http://www.box.net/shared/u6qm5729qi

I'm no singing talent but you can hear how the lyrics flow with the music.
I'm really not that pleased with it yet I can't seem to be able to fix it.

Any input is very much appreciated!

Edit: Added a bridge. COuldn't bring my self to record it again with it though!:)

Well , I don't think it's corny and I think you've got a great voice.

I like the grainy guitar tone (mahogany perchance?) and teh chords and pretty much everything.

However, it doesn't gel for me on first hearing because the words are soft and the feel is angry. Perhaps the lyrics about not hurting you are about an alcoholic wife-beater on the steps to recovery? If so, it fits.

Definitely worth working on it.

Thanks a lot for the input.

The song was meant to be about a guy who has been treating his girl like crap and everytime she is about to leave him, he does something that makes her stay.
Don't know how to explain it really, but yeah you could say it's a wifebeater, only the punches are all the shitty things the guy in the song does to her.

I should point out though that the guy.... (oh what the hey let's just say its me) doesn't realize that his actions are actually hurting his girl.

Oh and about the guitar. It's a cheap Cort with old strings and I recorded using a cheap headset mic!;)

Good job. I think the tempo you are playing within the verses is too fast. The impact of the tempo change (and strumming pattern) when the chorus comes in would be more dramatic if you slowed down the sown in the verses. Also, because of the tempo in the verses, the lyrics sound a bit sticato.

Slowing down the verses would also better reflect the ups and downs of people in that type of relationship.

Thanks man! That's good advice actually and your right. One of these days I'll make a new and better recording of it and se what you think, just gotta wait for my damn room mate to go away!:)

Hi,

English isn't my native language either. I'm an American :lol: :lol: But you did an awesome job and I doubt anyone could tell.

I also agree that you could slow it down, but just a little. Really enjoyed your MP3. Looking forward to hearing more of your work.

Neil

http://www.box.net/shared/lljqt5h2dg

Bought a new mic today and recorded it again. Voice was fucked from a 2 week long cold that just won't go away! Had to lower it half a key.

Hope you like the modifications I made

Edit: This version also includes the bridge

Nice! I wasn't sure about the lyrics when I read them at first but after hearing you play it I really like this song. Good job.

I was just going to say the same.
I didn't think I'd like the song based on the lyrics . . .
So I learned not to judge a song by it's lyrics because I liked the song.
Not enough to download and put on my iPod but pretty close.

You might want to post in the Hear Here section of the forum.
That's for sound and video recordings.

Good job. Pleasant voice.