Hello,
This is the first song/poem I've ever posted on GuitarNoise. It's intended mostly for those who have read Albert Camus' The Stranger. Otherwise, it would be quite confusing. I absolutely love bluntness, so tell me what you think. By the way, it's about how I, specifically, connected with the novel:
The Heat of Society
by Whitney Zeldow
Don't waste your prayers on me
I live by truth and honesty
but society doesn't really want that
It wants the illusion, not fact
No guilt and no affiliaton
Seems to lead to dehumanization
No heaven
No hell
Just rotting
Why eat yourself up inside
when worms in the ground
will do that for you?
chorus:
It was the sun's fault
sun made me do it
I blame the sun
The hot, hot sun
You are so sure of yourself Monsieur
of what you thought and who you were
You are no stranger to me
Into your heart, I can see
You are a victim of society
But a hero and martyr, to me, you'll be
bridge:
It's getting hotter
the longer I'm here
The heat of society
is stronger than fear
chorus
Monsieur Antichrist
Hope this song will suffice
for what we have done to you
people just don't have a clue
Give the condemned man a chance
Spare us your faith and your rants
chorus
bridge
chorus
I guess people don't read.
I changed my mind--I want criticism on structure. Who cares if you've never read the book and, therefore, don't understand its meaning? Please criticize!
Write a song about Harry Potter! :lol:
I'll be honest, I haven't read the book, but I read through your lyrics and to my horror,
You are so sure of yourself Monsieur
of what you thought and who you were
You are no stranger to me
Into your heart, I can see
You are a victim of society
But a hero and martyr, to me, you'll be
The four last lines rhyme! And even doubly so in the last one. Now, I have mixed feelings for rhymes. I love the clever ones and hate the forced, silly ones. But four lines in a row? Makes me think of rap :? So... I didn't like that..
However, what I did like was this part
No heaven
No hell
Just rotting
Why eat yourself up inside
when worms in the ground
will do that for you?
And I was thinking that you could use some other words for sun in the chorus, maybe tie it to helios and all that, just a thought though, it probably wouldn't work *laughs*
So, feel free to tell me what the book is about and when it was written, maybe even a few words on its author. Maybe it's worth the read!
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Thanks for the reply--that song has been posted for what seems like months but nobody appears to have read the book (I think it's required reading in some states, too). Anyway, I agree with the four rhyming lines--I guess I figured it would be a good lead into the bridge. As for the sun thing--that was a quote from the book (not a direct quote, but close enough) and the part that stood out most to me--it's kinda wierd because it's engrained in my head.
Anyway, thanks a lot for the criticism--I'm lovin it. Next up...Harry Potter. Just kidding. I would but I only read three or four and that was a long time ago.
I didn't took the time to read your song, cuz I can't criticate your work, since I can't criticate mine ( for the few songs I ever wrote )...
But do you know The Cure ? They once wrote a song on your book, The Stranger...
The song is called Killing An Arab, I think you might want to read those lyrics to have a kind of "model" ...
Yeah and I think it's a good idea to write a song about a book, so I'll do...
Don't you know Scentless Apprentice, from Nirvana, which is a song on the book "The Perfume" ?
An excelent book, btw, and a great song ( I'm a big Nirvana fan) !
How cool! I'm going to look up that song right now! I know it's nothing new to right a song about a book, but it's cool to know a famous band wrote about the same thing. Thanks a lot!
