Come in my friend you're not late
Been a while since I saw you
Time is worthy so don't wait
I'm the one you can talk to
You may say what's going on
Or you'll wear the white sweater
We'll trap you where you can't run
Feed you with pills forever
Your mind is pretty dirty
But I don't have magic soap
Bring me more gold from your tree
Then I can give you some hope
A spider lives in your head
I know it's already dead
They still think it's violent
Well I'm formed to keep silent
Maybe there are some lines that don't fit but I don't see them... Anyway I'd like your opinion and/or things I could change about this one. I also don't have an original title for this one and I would be glad if you could suggest me one...
Have a good day !
hi mapscientifik
welcome to guitar noise :D
you have some good lyrics and i bet it sounds good to music
but it feels to me that its not quite finished its left me thinking
were is the end of the song
mystic :D
Yeah I know it's not as I want it to be...
There are some places I want to fit and maybe put an outro. But i just wanted to know if the main idea was good or else...
See ya !
Hi everyone !
I finally got everything polishd on that song. I mean I changed a verse and I added an outro. I also found a title, which can be changed if you've got a better one :wink:. So here it goes. Please tell me what you sincerely think about this one.
The Lunatic
(intro)
Come in my friend you're not late
Been a while since I saw you
Time is worthy so don't wait
I'm the one you can talk to
(verse)
You may say what's going on
Or you'll wear the white sweater
We'll trap you where you can't run
Feed you with pills forever
(chorus)
A spider lives in your head
I know it's already dead
They still think it's violent
Well I'm formed to keep silent
(verse)
Your mind is pretty dirty
I can't lend you enough soap
If you give me more money
Then I could give you some hope
(some kind of solo part)
(chorus)
(outro)
Plenty ways to pass away
We hurt you that's why you died
I'll meet a new friend today
A Mad Man now comes inside
Have a good day !
I don't know what it is. But, it just doesn't click with me. The lyrics are generally pretty good but there is just something missing.
