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Under the red sky

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(@packingfoam)
Eminent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 15
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(@dillydally)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 147
 

eh not to smart to post that your playjurising or however you spell it

It's 15 Till And She Has The Other 45 In Her Mouth.


   
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(@packingfoam)
Eminent Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 15
Topic starter  

Yo, it's just four words, I doubt the copyright police will care.

I believe the correct spelling is 'plagiarising', or 'plagiarizing' if you're American.


   
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(@good)
Trusted Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 47
 

Yo, it's just four words, I doubt the copyright police will care.

I believe the correct spelling is 'plagiarising', or 'plagiarizing' if you're American.

Playjurising if you can't spell, mind.

We're like The Beatles, except there's four of us.


   
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(@gmilam)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 159
 

Just a thought on the beginning of the song. It may not be keeping with your thoughts, and the meter is different. Just threw it out there to maybe get some ideas flowing for ya.

You could say...

I remember days gone by
Making plans for you and I
The red sky turns to black and fades to dawn

While others worked we just played
Enjoyed the moment of the day
Until we noticed that it was all gone

Also...it needs some kinda chorus in it. Do you have any thoughts on that?

I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was - White Goodman (Dodgeball)


   
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(@packingfoam)
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(@nitetrapper)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 149
 

Hi, Idont think you would have a problem with the red sky at all.Dylons has long been forgotten by most. Plus ther are alot of songs with the same title. Diffenetly get a chorus and you'll be on your way.Nite.....

lyrics belong in songs, poems bolong in bookstores


   
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