Hi everyone I'm new here. I thought I'd post a song I wrote and get some feed back. Thanks Nite............................
A story about a country boy.Who thought the city life had everything until he meets a homeless person.
writer Ken Lillie ©2004
V1
I left for the big city.
Small town life was killing me.
Crazy tales about the wild nightlife,
all the endless opportunities.
V2
Headed to wards those massive buildings
That reached up thru the distant sky.
Walked along a lonesome highway,
When a ragged old man caught my eye.
Chorus
Son, my name is Johnny.
Be a good friend of mine.
If you got a few dollars,
Buy me some red wine.
I'll tell you 'bout
this city life.
All you need to know.
Been living here
ten years now.
What you see,
Is what I own.
V3
Asked him where a fella
could find a cheap place to stay.
He pointed at a vacant alley.
There's room, if that's o.k.
V4
That just made me wonder
There's people with no homes.
No neighbors you can call on
When you're in trouble all alone
V5
My city life was over
As fast as it began.
God sent me an angel,
Dressed up as an old man.
Chorus
Son, my name is Johnny.
Be a good friend of mine.
If you got a few dollars,
Buy me some red wine.
I'll tell you 'bout
this city life.
All you need to know.
Been living here
ten years now.
What you see,
Is what I own.
Back home to my small town
Where I've never been alone.
lyrics belong in songs, poems bolong in bookstores
hey nite,
i have to say that nothing jumps out at me that i don't like about this song. i do like it and see it as a country song since it is such a story. i like the fact that the story is typical in a way small town guy goes to big city then ends up back home. you managed to make that theme your own by making the reason the guy goes back home is b/c he talke to a homeless guy and longs to have neighbors. nice twist.
your song makes me think of the country song "The Ride" i do believe it is by Tim McGraw, or at least he sings a version. that song if you haven't heard it is about a guy that is leaving home to go to nashville and gets a ride from an interesting character that gives him some perspective on the situation. kinda like your song. Give it a listen.
i almost feel bad that i didn't find something that i didn't like in your song to specifically comment about. but i guess that can be a good thing.
hope my comments helped.
-CheapThrill
