Named because the main rhythm part was inspired by a Santana rhythm part in Black Magic Woman, and he plays with a lot of soul. Eh, idk? It's a decent name I think.
Another one that took me less than a day, some of them come really quickly, then I have two others I've been working on for over 2 weeks. I don't know.
Anyways,
All comments/criticisms/suggestions appreciated.
Again, this is a rough draft. I won't call it complete until I play with a bass player and a drummer. So it's not perfect, a little rough, as the "rough draft" implies. Not gonna say what I think needs to be worked on, I will after I hear some comments.
Thanks guys
At it again Huh?
Sounds pretty good. Has that 1940's dance hall feel. I like the way is moves.
Need to shorten the fadeout at around 1:24. Seems too low and too long maybe just too long. But I did like the way it kicked back in.
I also think the melody/lead lines that come in just before 3 minutes needs just a little more kick to keep pace with the rhythm.
Just my opinion.
So you gonna tab out the rhythm for me LoL
Nils, thanks for the reply. I can see what you are saying about the fadeout, I think you're right.
lol, tab out the rhythm? Can definitly do that!
Thanks for the compliments, and suggestions.
Taso
Any other comments/suggestions are definitly appreciated guys.
i liked this one, sometimes it seems like the rythm is leading the bass, if your going for that cool, just wanted to point that out
i really liked the lead in itit goes perfect with the song
It must be getting early, clocks are running late....
Paint by number morning sky looks so phony....
Dawn is breaking everywhere light a candle, curse the glare....
Draw the curtains, I don't care 'cause it's all right....
Thanks muchavo
I wasn't going for that, that was just me playing out of time :) haha. Really, that's all it was, when I play it with the drummer, the timing will all be fixed. That's why I call it a rough draft.
Thanks for the comments.
Hey dude, really nice work so far. I'm still going to bitch about it so grab a beer before reading it. :D
1) Get rid of the fade-out altogether. Maybe continue playing while slowly hitting the strings softer and softer to clean the tone a bit and give a relaxter feel. Just my opinion, but fade-outs are something you need to be real carefull with, they can get quite cheesy.
2) Record to a click-track or metronome. Always. Makes it way easier to add tracks and already think of some different things.
3) When you get back after the fade-out, have the bass lead up to it. You should have the listener really *feel* when the thing gets going again.
4) Add more variety. It seems to be build around a main rhythm/riff, which gets repeated a bunch of times followed by a solo over it. The beginning is almost a vocal song without the vocals, just the backing.
5) Have the bass switch to a shuffle rhtyhm, copying each quarter note.
6) During the solo you might think about sliding into the notes that start each lick, adds a sense of consistency to it all. You've got some great stuff going in the solo but is isn't connected much.
Some things I noticed: your rhythm reminds me very much of the Peppers and Fusciante, your solo just oozes Clapton. Weird combo but works very nice, listening it on some mediocre speakers but tone seems to be very much in order. If you'll allow me to be totally honest: you seem to me (but who am I?) to have the potential to write really great songs. This song right here is just begging to be made into a great song. Really, not kidding you in any way. So finish it. Don't except anything but a song you stand behind 100%. You repeat most of this song for a pretty long period, are you absolutely sure that it needs this little variety? Write lyrics, and I don't care at all if you think you can or not. I don't even care if the lyrics seem to make sense to me, make sure they do to you. Look at the bass, you can make it more interesting.
Right now it seems to be mostly a 'guitar song' with the rest being more of an afterthought. The guitar is good, you progress well and the ideas are interesting. But the song is not. It's too little too long. Yeah, I know you just started writing your own song, so why am I 'bashing' you? Because I don't want to have this song end like this. The basic rhythm is cool, the solo is *good*, the tone is spot on, but there are so many things you didn't really seem to have given much interest that all the good things get buried under a huge amount of nothing.
Don't let this one slip away dude. Take a close look at every measure, even a single note can add a sense of diversity. Think about tiny licks in the first part. Add vocals. Get the drums in, and make the bass more interesting. Make the fade-out a bit more interesting and musical. Accept nothing but the absolute best out of yourself. And judging from what I see that is a lot. You did this in a day. Now spend a month looking at every note and *really* make something that shows your ultimate in writing.
Good luck dude, we'll be waiting for you to rock our world. :twisted:
Good thing I was hald drunk while I read it. Kidding Arjen. I agree with some stuff, not so sure about others, I'll go in order.
1) Got ya! I'm not sure if I'll totally get rid of it , maybe I'll make it less extreme though. You're right about fade outs being cheesy sometimes, and since the two songs I feel are complete ideas, not songs, ideas, both have fadeouts, you have a point.
2) Got ya. Not much to say here. I just don't like hearing the metronome on my recording, and I don't have headphones, so it's a problem.
3) This kind of confuses me. I thought you didn't want the fade out all together? But, you mean have the bass kick in, before the guitar does?
4) Definitly agree with you here. All of my stuff is kind of like that, which is not good at all. In this song, I don't think it's too bad. I consider the switch to the Dm-Bb part to be different than the rest of the song, I know it has the same(ish) feel and rhythm, that's probably because of the bass.
5) What is a shuffle rhythm? (This makes me feel stupid...but I have to ask)
6) Thanks for the idea, I'll give that a shot!
I have no idea who the Peppers and Fusciante are, but cool. I don't know who this "Clapton" fellow you speak of is either. ;) I might have the potential you speak of, I just need to develop it I guess. Only on my second song, give me some time and it'll probably get better. I know I can write lyrics, I've written some already. I'm not sure how to fit them into the song though. Anyways, the lyrics I wrote weren't for this song. I find it hard to write lyrics for music, as opposed to music for lyrics, you know? Like, if I have the lyrics, then I can figure out what mood to put in the song, I have a hard time working the other way though.
I don't know if I'd call it a "huge amount of nothing". Part of my problem is, that while yes, I can add little licks and stuff, I don't have another guitar player right now. A drummer yeah, bassist yeah (maybe). So adding layers and such while easily doable when recording, wouldn't work too well live. I have a friend that does play guitar, and we play together a lot, but I kind of feel weird asking him to learn MY songs, who am I, that he'd want to learn my stuff.
Arjen, thanks for the detailed reply and criticism, really appreciate it.
Taso
3) This kind of confuses me. I thought you didn't want the fade out all together? But, you mean have the bass kick in, before the guitar does?
What I'd do is replace the fade out with something more musical, for example by changeing the picking dynamics and have the bass hold back, then when you're ready to kick back in have the bass do a little run to lead up to it. The idea behind the fade-out is good (change dynamics, have it sit back so you can launch yourself ahead) it's just that there are, IMHO, better ways to do that. You could also take a look at effects. For example, what I did in a song I'm working on is dropping all instruments but the guitar, and put a slow flanger on and slowly build up, have the drum/bass kick back in, dump the flanger and continue full speed. Just a few suggestions, there are a billion ways to slow down and prepare for a jump ahead.
5) What is a shuffle rhythm? (This makes me feel stupid...but I have to ask)
https://www.guitarnoise.com/lessons/roll-over-beethoven/
You already know it and I dare to bet you've played this rhythm plenty of times before. :D
In case I wasn't clear and you weren't joking: The peppers are the Red Hot Chili Peppers, sure you know them.
I don't know if I'd call it a "huge amount of nothing". Part of my problem is, that while yes, I can add little licks and stuff, I don't have another guitar player right now.
Didn't want to say the track is nothing, but there is just so much space that is filled with nothing. Kinda like having four supermodels in a big arena. Sure, they look good, but it's still a near-empty arena. Anyway, you can add licks and stuff in your own guitar track. Check out songs like 'Under The Bridge' to see what I mean. You don't need nobody else to spice it up, you have enough skills to do it yourself.
Oh, and ask that friend to play your songs. Your song seems more interesting then 'Horse with no name', yet millions of people have learned it. Be proud of your work, I'm sure he can learn *something* from what you're doing, if he's willing. Good luck man.
