Well, here is my first original recording. It's this first thing that I've ever written (as far as poetry, lyrics, music etc.) It's called "Home" but I'm not too sure I like that title, it's been done to death. Well, this idea for the song has been done to death as well. Words were not all written by me, they were written with the help of a friend of mine. The music is all mine though. This definately sounds like a first song, it doesn't cover any new ground etc. One thing that I can't seem to do is get from the end of the chorus to the next verse without being too wordy, so I tried to make it end musically as well as I could. I need to really fine tune this, but I figured the best way to go about that is to post it and let people tear it apart.
As always, my singing....yeah, it's not good, but I hope you can get through it anyway. Thanks for listening!
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6951561
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Sounds good nice lyrics-i put in a friend request on soundclick :D
Nice song! :D
I like it. The song is relaxing at the beginning and also lively at the end. The strumming is good. Perhaps you speed up at the end? I don't know, but I like the effect. And the chord changes are very smooth!
There are some minor troubles with the voice but I guess you solve them. I think you can do it but consider also use a capo or another tonality/chords.
Just a comment. I don't know if it is a problem in my laptop but the right channel volume is very low.
Thanks for sharing.
Good job!
i just took a listen to your song and i have to say.......i see much potential. if you added in the drums lead guitar and a bass i see an awesome balled. the guitar work was good and i thought that your lyrics were spot on for the song. i do agree however that "HOME" has been done quite a bit so i think a tittle change is in order. like i said, just put some lead guitar work in there drums and a bass and i think you may have a #1 single on your hands :wink:
Wow. Thanks for all the kind comments, I thought I would pretty much be flogged. :lol:
Ksac: Thanks for the kind words about the lyrics
Nuno: Yeah the left track is a bit low, for whatever reason Garageaband isn't mixing it down right I don't think, but it may just be my settings. I'll post another file that's mixed down a bit better. Oh, and I play this with a Capo on the 1st fret, do you think that it should be moved higher for the voice range?
Peavey: I would add some lead and drums if I knew what I was doing :lol: I'm just not sure where to add them or how to compose them. As far as the number 1 goes....LOLLOLOLOL!!! You made my day in a quite humorous sort of way.
Something I didn't post in the original, is that I'd like to thank Chris C for his help in how to create imagrey for songs etc, he gave me some very very helpful advice in the creation of this song.
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Oh, and I play this with a Capo on the 1st fret, do you think that it should be moved higher for the voice range?
Let me see... Joe, I like it very much! :D
It seems your voice is higher than the guitar in some parts but it seems you are more comfortable when you are not too high...
Uff! I don't know, perhaps it's a question for the Singers forum. You should be comfortable in your tone. Try to sing again, perhaps it just was a trouble in that recording.
Sorry, I can not help so much :(
PS. If you decide on the Peavey's tip and need some bass lines, let me know (if you wish, of course!).
joe have you ever heard of cubase or other recording programs? they come with a drum program that you can just add in. thats what you heard what you played my song, programmed drums, it works pretty good as you can hear from my songs. so why not give that a try?
and as for the number 1 single i meant that you would have a damn fine song...damn fine!!!!
Yes, an emphatic yes to that bass line Nuno, I would love that. I would like to do some adding to this with lead and drums and such, I have garageband and that has a bunch of different drum beats, but so far I haven't found one that I liked.
When I get my keyboard, I think that I'm going to add a bit of keyboard to it if I can figure out how, maybe change the intro so that it's piano and not guitar.
thanks for all the kind words everyone, it was a much better reception to it than I expected, gives me a bit of encouragement to write more things and have a go at different styles.
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Great! I'll send you a PM!
8)
if you record it to a metronome I'll add drums no problem. If you need anything else, just ask. Anyway, a great first shot at songwriting, certainly miles better then the first song I ever wrote. Definitely keep it up and if I can help with anything let me know!
Thanks Ignar! I will try and record this with a metronome, I'll have to figure out how to do that with garageband, I'm pretty new at using that, and then I can send it to you.
thanks Nuno and Ignar I appreciate the help!
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Can't add much to what has already been said accept agree you have a fine song on the go here just needs some refinements and bingo. Way to go. Oh and I'll add to the list if you want me to lay anything down on it just PM me.
Gerry
Those who can't dance always blame the band.
Thank you Gerry, I appreciate the comments! I'll send you a PM shortly
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Hey Joe. I liked it very much. Keep em coming!!!
Teamwork- A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
Thanks Blue, I appreciate the comment!
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
