At an open mic Friday night
My wifes Iphone ran out of room at the beginning of "After You", which is a good thing because I really messed it up.
She did manage to record this one "Goodbye Irene".
Nice job :D From the quietness of the room it seems you have an attentive group.
Nice job :D From the quietness of the room it seems you have an attentive group.
It's a listening room and the crowd does pay attention. That's bad if you make mistakes
John, I didn't follow this song through its early development, but I think you have some interesting concepts here.
This particular line seems a little awkward:
"For one who talked so much, she had a wall of privacy"
I was thinking that instead of using the "wall" idea, it could be a "screen." Something like this:
She liked to talk a lot, but did it through a screen.
Renee
John, I didn't follow this song through its early development, but I think you have some interesting concepts here.
This particular line seems a little awkward:
"For one who talked so much, she had a wall of privacy"
I was thinking that instead of using the "wall" idea, it could be a "screen." Something like this:
She liked to talk a lot, but did it through a screen.
Thanks for the idea. I think I actually changed it and sang "kept a wall of privacy". The word "privacy" is not a hard rhyme with "Irene" but it is a soft one. I don't think "screen" would fit the rhyme as well unless I sang it as two syllables "scre-een".
