This I believe this is some what destroying what I had ..I call it bastardising my song ... Sorry but thats' how I feel about it but it did give me the oppitunity to write from the other perpestive .Some thing I am not comfortable doing ....
CHANGED PERSON
When I close my eyes at night time
I don't close my mind as well
And when I dream my dreams sunshine --------( sarcasm )
My thoughts aren't there to sell
I don't write my polically correct speeches
I don't dress in fine fancy clothes
My words do try to reach you
As your mind is always closed
I ‘m very well educated
At school I excelled
My theories aren't to be debated
In your homes and F#%k your jails
Who are you to say I'm arrogant
My deeds are worth much more
I've got the style and elegance
With my charisma I'll leave you on the floor
Dam your ignorance I will prevail
You all need pushing like a old wives tail
You use resources , so now you'll pay
Spend your money , there'll be no rainy day
When I close my eyes at night time
I don't close my mind as well
And when I dream my dreams sunshine
My thoughts aren't there to sell
===========================
Original song
My Protest song ...
My Protest Song
When you close your eyes at night time
Do you close your mind as well
And when you dream your dreams sometimes
Are your thoughts there to sell
Your politically correct speeches
Dressed in fine fancy clothes
Are your words trying to reach us
For our minds are never closed
We may not all be educated
At school some did fail
Your theories will be debated
In our homes and our jails
ADDED BRIDGE
Dam your taxes Dam that scale
Don't push us further you will fail
I pay my taxes and I vote
You'll become an international joke
We're not impressed by arrogance
Your deeds are worth much more
With all your style and elegance
Remember we can show you the door
When you close your eyes at night time
Do you close your mind as well
And when you dream your dreams sometimes
Are your thoughts there to sell
=======
Now I just have to get Nic to read his PM s' so I can post under my other name " Barnabus Rock "
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I am aso known as Barnabus Rock ...Hilch ....ummmm yeah thats it
Hmmm - bastardising - I wouldn't call it that.....
I actually think you've done a good job on this (though yes, I do prefer the original....) - I could see it being half-sung, half spoken in a Dylanesque way, but kind of condescending and sneering....
I'd drop the word "sunshine" from the last verse though....I know what you're getting at, but sarcasm isn't universal...."son" might work a little better.....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Thanks for the feed back Vic
Dylanesque is how saw it as well ( cheers )
I'm surprised the F word snuck through your defenses Vic , I think it really needs to be in there for inpact ..
My only question is , " Where are all the song writers ?"
Very quiet in here lately Christmas is over people
HA HA HA HA ...
Come on start writing people
Trevor
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I am aso known as Barnabus Rock ...Hilch ....ummmm yeah thats it
"Very quiet in here lately Christmas is over people"....too much good food and good beer - some of us golden oldies take a little longer to fine-tune the motor skills we haven't used the last couple of weeks or so - I'll start writing again when I can put one foot in front of the other in the certain knowledge they aren't going to get tangled - lucky guesses aren't good enough.....
Seriously, the last couple of weeks or so have dragged for me, SSG wise....I thought I got "Peace of Mind" pretty much spot-on first time, didn't really see the point of messing about it - I liked it the way I wrote it first time out, and adding a bridge just made it too long, the re-write didn't work at all, and I didn't even want to think about changing the POV.....
But now we've got a new subject to get our teeth into, got a couple of good lines already, just need that bit of inspiration....although "Peace Of Mind" was all about getting away and making a brand new start...new beginnings....
Ah well - back to the drawing board!!!!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
In my defence all I can say is that a certain collaboration is taking precidence at the moment. Im desparately trying to write/learn a bass line that Im able to play, and Im back at work, quote, my son:
that sucks so time is pretty precious right now
Paul
lol Paul
Yep your son sums things pretty well by the sounds of it ....
A certain collaboration ? Or a certain person ...??
Only Jokeing Paul ....
I was just surprised that more songs were not submittedthats' all
I know everyone else isn't like me { I actually had Christmas day off } But had to wait till last Friday for a day off , then I became ill { grrrrr}
I will catch up celebrating in Febuary sometime as there is some family issues happening here so the next few weeks are going to really test me out as far writing goes ..
I have to learn something totally new as well as the family thing , so if I don't post next week or the week after its' for a reason ..
Back at work gee I would give my right arm to get some time off , I have not had a break since September 2005 ...
Have convinced the Mrs that New Zealand in September would be a lovely holiday with England in 2009 and maybe a sight see of America as well ...
We will see she her last trip was from the bedroom to the shower and that took some convincing { looks over shoulder and shivers }
Trevor
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I am aso known as Barnabus Rock ...Hilch ....ummmm yeah thats it
Well Trev there are some beers in the fridge just waiting for you to stop by. Mind you, I have felt compelled to "cycle the stock" so to speak :D , just so it doesnt go off you understand.
Paul
Totally understand
lol
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I am aso known as Barnabus Rock ...Hilch ....ummmm yeah thats it
