Here's my first attempt at SSG. (be gentle :wink: )
Forever Ride
To see your picture one more time
To see your face, smiling at mine
On bated breath I wait for thee
My love awaits you, come and see
Hanging on for any word
By phone, by wire or carrier bird
I need to again hear your voice
For me there is no other choice.
2002. I met you
2003. You left me
2004. We are no more
2005. Will we come back alive?
Holding hands within our grasp
I know this time it can last
One more chance is all I ask
Step up to the plate and task
Unbelievable how I feel
You make my yearnings real
Why is it you hesitate?
Being without you is what I hate
2002. I met you
2003. You left me
2004. We are no more
2005. Will we come back alive?
Corny saying, corny rhyme
I'm so struggling all this time
Nothing matters except that you
Would accept my love through and through
I miss you so very much
Everyday I need your touch
Talk to me, please don't hide
I really need you by my side
2002. I met you
2003. You left me
2004. We are no more
2005. Will we come back alive?
I don't know what else to say
I've tried I know in every way
Words keep pouring in my head
Repeating what I've already said
Don't know how much more to take
I'm so in love for goodness sake
All this love I have inside
Can take you on a forever ride.
2002. I met you
2003. You left me
2004. We are no more
2005. Will we come back alive?
Bish
"I play live as playing dead is harder than it sounds!"
Interesting chorus. What kind of style is the song in? It seems to me like a punk-style chorus. The last line "Will we come back alive" might need a bit more thought.
On the whole, good structure, nice short lines, good rhymes. A few bits that don't quite sound riight: "thee" in the first verse; "I need to again hear your voice"; "a forever ride"... restructuring of syntax needed.
I'd be very interested to hear it though! Could be very effective in a punk or modern rock/pop stylee.
