Hi all,
As always, your comments and suggestions are really appreciated.
http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart
I'm Watching You
Who do you think you are
Someone so special you can live without laws
do anything in life that you want
pretending to be so nonchalant
Well, I'm watching you, I can see everything that you do
yes, I'm watching you and one day out of the blue
everything you've done will become known
all the lies you told will be shown
and there won't be a place you can hide
and you'll wish that you had already died
I'm watching you
Did you think that nobody cared
that everyone around you would be so scared
and nobody would bother to take the time
to see what you do and report your crimes
Well, I'm watching you, From a place near and a far
Yes, I'm watching you, and I couldn't care less who you are
and one day when you think you're alone
all the harm that you've done will come crashing home
and there won't be anything you can do
everything you've done will come back to you
cause I'm watching you
Who am I, do you really want to know
I've been with you all your life, where ever you go
I'm the voice inside you who tries to tell you no
when your greed and arrogance begin to show
Yes I'm watching you and I'll never leave you alone
You can't hide from me and your time will come to atone
For everything you did and said
all the hurt you caused, all the hate you've spread
I'll be watching you until your final day
and you can bet your life I'll have the last say
Yes, I'm watching you
Hi Neil
Finally managed to get this onto my computer so I could have a listen. Very moody. I don't think I have to chat with you about some of the phrasing because it sounds like you're working that out in the recording. I'm mostly intriqued with your chord choice, especially in the very first part of the verses. That a major seventh of some type, right? I didn't think twice about it at the beginning of the song, but when I heard it again after the first chorus it seemed very jarring. Likewise when going into the third verse after the second chorus. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It separates the two sections of the song nicely, but it sounds more romantic than I'd have given the song credit for.
Chances are, though, after four or five more listens, I wouldn't want it any other way! :wink:
Lyric-wise, I like how you change from chorus to chorus (I'm one of those writers who doesn't like repeating things either), but the second chorus in particular seems more redundant with itself rather than strong and I'm not really sure what can be done about that. I'll give it some more thought.
Looking forward to reading more.
Peace
Hi David,
I can always count on you for some astute comentary. The chords for the verses, as you guessed, go from a Amaj7 to an Em and for the chorus it goes to Fmaj7 to G, repeat, then Em to Am, repeat, then Fmaj7 to G again. I'm trying to get into some other chord patterns because I've been a pretty deep rut, lately. And the change from the Amaj7 to Em was a little strange at the beginning, but I'm beginning to like it.
As for the redundancy in the 2nd chorus, you're right. It needs some work.
Thanks again, for your help.
Neil
Hi chefie,
I've nothing to say other than good work. I enjoyed reading through it and I'll give it a listen when I get off this everlasting nightshift... Last one tonight fortunately (though I'll probably miss it when I'm working eight to four the rest of my life)
Favourite part was the last verse and chorus, I felt that was goooood writing.
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
