Hey everyone
I don't know whats going on lately but love is the theme everytime I go to write , ( no special reson though ) ..
Anyway some of you will remember the bridge from a few weeks ago , so thanks to , Clelt , Pbee , Vic , Lotto King back then ....
I call it her eyes a slow picking style of song , and when I did a final write on it there is a verse Pbee you can change to Mrs B.... and sing it to your Mrs ...
I think this might come under the guidelines from Bob if not oh well , I tried ...
Her Eyes
CHORUS
When I look into her eyes
Does this world spin by
When I look into her eys
I don't hear no lies
V1
This feeling I get
I'll never forget
My heart starts racing
When we are embracing
V2
She drives me wild
She is my love child
I love this lady
Named miss McGrady
BRIDGE
Like looking through the eyes of a baby
Seeing through the eyes of child
When I look into the eyes of my lady
Those eyes that drive me wild
CHORUS
When I look into her eyes
Does this world spin by
When I look into her eys
I don't hear no lies
OUTRO
I love her , I really love her
I never want to hurt her
But sometimes love hurts
---------------
All feed back welcome as usual
Hilch
© Trevor Hilcher 2006
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Hi Hilch,
A couple of things come to mind immediately when I read this, 1) I think the outro is very good, well done there mate. 2) I just feel that you are scratching the surface with your feelings and if you went a little deeper then the song would benefit.
The bridge is good, just a littler more in the verses and I think you'll be on to something .
Cheers
Paul
Hilch,
Nice job! I went back and read the original and think
you fleshed it out quite a bit since then.
You could go a little deeper as Paul said but
somthing can be said for keeping it simple too.
John
Thanks John and Paul ,
I kept it simple as I didn't want to over do it , ( hope that makes sense )
I aways reckon a simple I love you to your lady is much better then all the roses and gifts in the world ,
( but hey I am a mere male what would I know )
I do have other lines for this but thought they were over the top , so I'll go back and re-visit them and try to get them to BEEF it up a bit ..
Right now though I quite like its' simplicity and to the point so to say ...
Paul gee thanks about the outro mate I was seriously thinking of not using it .
John thanks for taking the time to re-read my original draft mate , I really appreciate your time ..
cheers
Trevor
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
EDIT :
Instead of this verse , a little alteration as to the meaning of what I originally had was way off the mark
She drives me wild
She is my love child < not good
I love this lady
Named miss McGrady
New Verse
She drives me wild
I feel like a child
I love this lady
Named miss McGrady
----
Once again I must give credit to Paul ( Pbee ) for helping me out with alternative line/lines . ( Paul ask for a pay rise mate ) Thanks so much
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
New verse is far better! :)
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
