Hi guys, been away on holiday for just over a week, had no guitar to play, and did no songwriting either!
This is my effort for this week, as time is running out it's a quickie, but comments etc. welcomed just the same!
Angel's Grace
Verse 1
Watching
Waiting
Anticipating
Just can't seem to look away
Hoping
Longing
Just belonging
To that chair, I just can't stray
Chorus
(And I'm….)
Looking in across this place
Staring into time and space
With eyes, so locked upon a face
That even angels couldn't grace
Verse 2
Wondering
Thinking
My eyes, unblinking
Wouldn't want to miss a thing
Churning
Sinking
My stomach flinching
I realise there's no way in
Bridge
No words to say
Where to begin?
Always outside
Looking in
Chorus
(And I'm….)
Looking in across this place
Staring into time and space
With eyes, so locked upon a face
That even angels couldn't grace
Looking in across this place
Staring into time and space
With eyes, still locked upon her face
As again she wanders
From this place
Cheers in advance! :)
Pete
Hiya Pete,
I think you have something here, I heard it in my head as an acoustic song (I always do) with some fancy chords and some John Mayer guitarwork in between :)
Two things only that I have to say about this:
The second verse rhymes longing with belonging, which is a wee bit similar sounding :) I like the line just belonging, though, so if you decide to change it, keep that ;)
This is the the second thing, but I'm having trouble convincing myself to write it. You could move around the words in the chorus a bit, as I'm not a big fan of that many rhymes. I'd like to add that it is only the amount of rhymes that bother me a little, it's very well written and flows like a river. I can't even believe I decided to write this. Don't change it!
I really, really like this. Any chance of you recording it? Perhaps posting the chords? I'd love to hear what you have in mind for it.
Go Pete!
:)
-man
"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"
Cheers for the feeback -man :)
Not much chance of recording it anytime soon, as I mic-less at present (I did get one a while back as a gift but it was awful, I think it was a speech mike so I got a refund, and didn't feel up to blowing more of my £££ on another!)
As for chords, I dunno, if I get time to work on the music I will, but most of the songs I've written over the last month or so have been purely lyrics, plus I don't get a whole lotta privacy living at home for the summer with my family, especially if I'm gonna be *ahem* creating my own sound lol
I'm hoping that when I return to uni (and normality :P) I'll find time to get a decent mic and record most of the stuff I have so far.
Pete
Hey, I like that, Pete. Looking forward to hearing it. I see now what you mean about that other song you did (the one that doesn't rhyme and reads like poetry). Obviously you were trying something different, but I like this style. And you seem like you're good at it. So if it ain't broke.... Anyway, can't wait to hear your stuff. Good job.
Joe
