As soon as I read the assignment for this week, I wrote this, literally in 5 minutes. It's light-hearted and jokey, but I think this summer was such a joke that its quite fitting really! :lol:
Summer's Gone
Summers gone and passed us by
Some of us will wonder why
This year we seem to have lost a season
Where did it go? What was the reason?
Summers gone; was it ever here?
The warmth of sun was skipped this year
"The wettest summer since records began"
So much for us Briton's getting a tan
Summer gone, we'll all complain
About the endless falling of the rain
In Spain they enjoy the "Sun and Siesta's"
In Britain we watch rain from our Ford Fiesta's
Summer's gone, too quick it seems
I think I saw a glimpse in my dreams
Of a sun-drenched beach where children play
In reality? I'm stuck at work all day
Pete
ETD - Formerly "10141748 - Reincarnate"
Hi Pete
This gave me a good chuckle. Two good old friends of mine live in England - one's a lecturer at the University of Manchester (has been for ages now it seems) and the other moved over in May 2006. Reading this was quite a lot like our phone conversations! :wink:
The only thing I'd suggest is that, while I understand your double use of the word "rain" in the third verse, I can't help but wonder if your listeners couldn't, like yourself, use a break. It might also give you a way to create a more vivid image, like:
In Spain they enjoy the "Sun and Siesta's"
While we try to stay dry inside our Ford Fiesta's
Just a thought.
Looking forward to hearing your ideas for music to accompany this.
Peace
Summer? Did I miss something?
LOL - I like it Pete, there's a nice neat logical progression to it.....but, on the debit side, it does kind of read like a song that was knocked off in a rush.
"Summers gone and passed us by
Some of us will wonder why"
Some of us? We're all wondering where summer went....
"we're sat in the rain, wondering why..."
"We're soaked, wondering why...."
"Summer's gone, I'm wondering why,
Global warming's passed us by....."
Those are just a few lines off the top of my head......but you get the idea? You've got a great idea for a song, but IMO you just haven't thought it out properly - then again, you've got all week to re-write and make it better. Make each line count....don't be satisfied with the first rhyme you find.
You've written some good songs in the past for the SSG - this one has potential. work on it, I know you can do it!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Not sure what to say about another song about rain! What kind of music are you hearing?
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Pete,
for me this song is begging for an upbeat positive personalized bridge, and how summer didn't (and please pardon the pun) dampen your spirits. For me this would contrast the melancholy and give the listener some relief. Just my thoughts off the top of my head.
cheers
Paul
Cheers for all the responses guys.
David - I actually missed that double "rain" use - on reading again today, I don't much like it either. I'll see what else I can come up with.
Vic - yes, it was rushed, and I am going to work on it more through the week.
Paul - I like the idea of a bridage that is upbeat, I'll look into that too.
Katreich - no music yet, probably just simple acoustic chords, perhaps a simple fingerpicked melody over them.
Thanks again guys!
Pete
ETD - Formerly "10141748 - Reincarnate"
Hi Pete
Somebody once asked 'Why do the British talk about the weather so much?' and was answered 'Because we get so much of it.' It makes for a conversation piece no matter where you are. This song definitely fits in with that sentiment. As you admit it's rushed but it's there to be worked on keep going with it.
Good ideas
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
