SSG 46 The Man of the Month Club

Hey Max,

I like the approach you took with this one. And I like the way you carried the metaphor throughout the whole song. The only thing that sticks out at me, is that you do the chorus 9 times. Even the catchiest phrase can get old after the 5th pass. Anyways, it's good to see you still popping in from time to time. Now hit the books. :)

-- Scratch 8)

Yes, the chorus definately sticks out too much. However, I envision it being sung behind the last two verses. Perhapse it could be intermingled like:

She's got a new man
I can't wait to be the
Every time I turn around
Featured selection in her
She takes the featured selection
Man of the month club
And she wears him right down...

Or maybe a different chorus with those lines as background and keep the verses as they are. That way you could repeat that section without it getting too repetative.

I can live with the repeated chorus....it's pretty short, and it's catchy....the only minor quibble I have is that you also use the word "selection" and the phrase "featured selection" in the verses as well.....in this verse,

She's always so happy
When her selection arrives
Tossing her hair
And flashing her eyes

I'd substitute the word "choice" for "selection".......or maybe "pick"....

and in this one,

She's got a new man
Every time I turn around
She takes the featured selection
And she wears him right down

I'd substitute something like "dish of the day" for "featured selection".....

Apart from that, it's cool - I see it as a pretty up-tempo song, it's catchy as hell and has a great meter...the only other way you could improve it,
you could maybe change the last chorus to something like

"I couldn't wait to be the featured selection in her man of the month club,
Then the time came for me,
I couldn't wait to be the featured selection in her man of the month club,
Now I'm just another trophy........"

(That was just off the top of my head, you understand, just sort of wraps it all up and finishes the song instead of leaving the listener in limbo.......you could probably do a lot better than my suggestion, given time to work on it...)

:) :) :)

Vic