What's Going on Down There?
Skinny, Scrawny little girl
A tennis racket in her hand
Strums it like a real guitar
“Let's pretend we're in a band!â€
Downstairs in the basement
My sister, and my friends
Passed away the hours
Playing let's pretend.
Skinny, boyish teenaged girl
Her first guitar in hand
Reads “teach yourself to play guitarâ€
And starts to understand
Downstairs in the basement
She wiles the hours away
With 2 note chords and hokey scores
She tries to learn to play
What are you doing down there anyway?
It's too nice to be inside all day
You think you're going be a star someday?
When are you really going learn to play?
Downstairs in my basement
All grown up and all
I sit amongst all my guitars
Leaned up against the wall
Downstairs in my basement
Surrounded by my friends
I live the childhood fantasy
And the music never ends.
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Memo to self: Never read anything fast. It took me three tries before I realized it wasn't "hockey scores..."
I like this a lot. Three things I might mention -
First, perhaps Downstairs In The Basement might be a better title, especially as this phrase heralds the second half of each verse.
Second, why not use a different line for the first line of the last verse in order to avoid the repetition.
And finally, I personally think that there should be some reference to playing in the last verse. You can accomplish this in so many ways, so I was thinking of something like:
Strumming out a rhythm
All grown up and all
I sit amongst all my guitars
Leaned up against the wall
Downstairs in my basement
Playing with my friends
I live the childhood fantasy
And the music never ends.
Very cool song! Looking forward to hearing it one day!
Peace
i really liked this! i could relate to it and it and everything :) well done!
That song is about most of us in some way :D :D I agree with dhodge EXEPT I like the tittle.I can hear my folks yelling "WHATS GOING ON DOWN THERE!!" 30 years later (in my mind).--THE DOG
katreich,
liked this as well.
how about changing line 3, verse 2 to
Reads “teach yourself to playâ€
i gets rids of the repetition of the word guitar so close together, and still gets the point across...
nice work
currently number 60 in total posts... and shooting for number 1!!
it's good. very cool.
Nothing I can add, but I just thought I should reply!!!
Well written. The others have given good advice.
My vote goes to the title being 'Downstairs...' as well, but it's up to you, obviously.
G
Listen Louder Than You Play
Thanks All!
David I agree with the last verse,changing that one line makes a great difference. As far as the hokey scores, the first thing that I managed to get out of that 14 dollar guitar was either "Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight" or" On Top of Old Smokey". There were no lessons for beginners available back in 197*! (suffice it to say a few years ago!)
I"m still up in the air as to the title. My first thought was actually "Don't Make Me come Down There!" But as the Dog said, I can still here my dad yelling down the stairs 30 years later myself!
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
Katreich,
Very Nice! One of those songs I wish I had written. Of course I'd have to change the gender but everything else rings true.
Celt
i like the part where the questions are being asked to the narrator, i think its really catchy. i like it.
