The book is entitled Fools Fate by Robin Hobb. Â I know nothing about the book, but the titled intrigued me. Â
Suggestions on this one?? Â ???
Fools Fate
Open fields and rolling hills,
such a peaceful place.
But what an odd sight to see,
a stranger with out a face.
He holds his head down low
and soulfully plays his harp.
Only shadows seen on his face,
anonymous in the park.
With everything to hide
and nothing left to lose
he sits on the park bench
everyday to sing the blues.
Ashamed of his past
and everything he's lost.
He learns to face this fools fate,
sings the blues for old friends crossed.
He sings about his long lost love
and how he'd give his life
for one more chance to do it again
and have her as his wife.
He sings about his fortune
and how he gambled it all away.
Just one night at the tables,
his entire life changed that day.
He sings about memories
and how they are so distant.
All the happiness he once felt
now seems nonexistent.
With everything to hide
and nothing left to lose
he sits on the park bench
everyday to sing the blues.
Ashamed of his past
and everything he's lost.
He learns to face this fools fate,
sings the blues for old friends crossed.
Hey Jenlyncat,
I really like this song. Particularly the chorus. "Everything to hide, and nothing left to lose..."
I think you've taken an everyday sight, and given it depth, and added perspectives that might typically be overlooked. It also fits the title very well. Really good work.
--Scratch
Hi'a Jenlyncat,
I agree with Scratch, nicely writen, it is a tad long for my personal taste, but it is very tight with the lyrics, so i can't see any where where you could shorten it, without spoiling the content, so I honestly think it could work.
Are we going to get to hear some of your latest stuff, I would love to hear them.
Go well
Ja'mir ;)
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Thanks Scratch & Ja'mir! I appreciate your input.
I am working on some melodies for some of my lyrics, but that's proving to be a slow process. As soon as I can get something recorded, I'll be sure to post it.
Any ideas on types of music or melodies you can envision for anything I post is always welcome!!
thanx, jen
This is really great. The picture that you paint of this man is crystal clear. Great imgaery!
hey there! with the exception of "He sings about memories and how they are so distant......"
i think this is a very visual tale. i'm not drawn in emotionaly though. so yeah.. i could see this guy in my head, but it doesn't really enter my body and i don't relate to it. this could be just a disagreement with taste.. as i'm very opinionated. or maybe you weren't trying to get me to relate on an emotional level.. maybe i'm just here to understand this guy and then walk away.. but i wouldn't say that this is a bad poem... so don't think i'm being too harsh peas.
ps.. i'm also not down with narration. i don't think stories should be told in whole and from outside sources. that limits me ALOT of what i do and don't like.. so in the future.. don't listen to a word i say
