actually wrote this a few years back. Don't know if this meets the criteria for this assignment.If not let me know and I will remove it.
At this time it is not complete for reasons I hope you understand. I will try to put and ending to it, if not for the sake of the assignment for my sake. I'm still going to work on another one just in case.
thanks for taking the time to read this.
Tokai 12 String
DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP
V-1
She Staring out the window
as her life goes rushing past
I get this funny feeling
her minds racing much to fast
She said, "she's feeling real lonely,
I only wish it would end"
I reach out my hand to comfort her
'cause youknow she my friend
Chorus
Don't you ever give up on yourself
everybody has their highs and lows
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Take it from somebody who knows
How love comes and goes
V-2
She said, "I'm really sorry
for taking up all of my time"
I tell her don't be silly
the pleasure has all been mine
You needed some one to talk to
You needed some one to hear
and when your feeling real lonely
Remember I'm always here
Chorus
Don't you ever give up on yourself
everybody has their highs and lows
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Take it from somebody who knows
How love comes and goes
Tokai 12 String
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Hi'a Tokai,
A real pleasant simplicity to this song I like it..... ( the type that becomes a hit ) but don't really think it is based on the assignment. but do finish it , love to hear what comes next.
Go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
What came next was the hard part.
DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP
V-1
She Staring out the window
as her life goes rushing past
I get this funny feeling
her minds racing much to fast
She said, "she's feeling real lonely,
I only wish it would end"
I reach out my hand to comfort her
'cause youknow she my friend
Chorus
Don't you ever give up on yourself
everybody has their highs and lows
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Take it from somebody who knows
How love comes and goes
V-2
She said, "I'm really sorry
for taking up all of my time"
I tell her don't be silly
the pleasure has all been mine
You needed some one to talk to
You needed some one to hear
and when your feeling real lonely
Remember I'm always here
Chorus
Don't you ever give up on yourself
everybody has their highs and lows
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Take it from somebody who knows
How love comes and goes
V-3
One more time by your side girl
An answer for this I can't find
You've freed yourself from sorrow
but you have left so much behind
It's nine o'clock in the morning
I've got to be there by ten
It's hard to fight back the tears now
when you've just lost a friend
Chorus
Don't you ever give up on yourself
everybody has their highs and lows
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Take it from somebody who knows
How love comes and goes
I'm staring out the window...
Tokai 12 String
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Hiya,
It's good. I think you'll find that there are a few unimportant words that will drop out when you sing it back, but it sets out an emotional state and does it very well.
Best,
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
Hi'a Tokai,
Thanks for finishing it ..... what a sad song !!!!
I do agree with Alan, it makes a big difference to the emotion of a song when the "between words" as i call them are taken out....
for example
She said, "I'm really sorry
for taking up all of my time" ( for taking up your time )
I tell her don't be silly
the pleasure has all been mine ( the pleasure's mine )
You needed some one to talk to
You needed some one to hear
and when your feeling real lonely ( when you're real lonely )
Remember I'm always here (Know I'm always here )
See what I mean......... just my thoughts
go well
Ja'mir
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
Thank Alan & Ja'mir
12years one more line.
It's somewhat finished there is so much I want to say, I've written so many things down about what happen leading up to the end but couldn't put it all toghther to much sorrow :cry: you got a very abbreviate version of the final out come. by the way I found the tape I recorded of the first two verse I converted them to MP3. the link is below
Beware poor quality Bad singing and guitar playing
Tokai 12 String
Don't you ever give up on yourself
Nice job, I think it is a really well done emotional piece. :D
No matter what anyone says, these four men were the Innovators! of modern Rock & Roll!
Morse Code... Music on it's own
Hi Tokai
Listened to the MP3 - reminded me of Nick Drake. Really good piece for this week's assignment - 3rd verse is very emotive - wouldn't change a thing.
Let's hear the finished version.
Great stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
