Hi :D
Well, a one chord verse!
Who could resist that! 8)
Okay, so I cheated a bit.
This is actually a song of mine from an SSG assignment from the year before David took over :roll:
I believe that the assn. was to have the first and last lines of the verses be the same.
So, seeing this weeks assignment; I dusted it off and re-recorded it.
I had always just played it solo acoustic, and was never able to do it right because I just couldn't bend the one note at the same time I was playing the chord.
So, I laid down a rhythm track/Slide track/& vocal track.... No, NOT a singing track! LOL!
No, just a - whispery, straining, what's left of my vocals, track :wink:
Ideally, it would be played on my Harmony, or at the very least, my acoustic and my Harmony....
both are down for a bit unfortunately.
So, the white Strat with all it's Ice-Picky harshness got the job.
Sorry about that.
Anyway - here it is....
no edits, no cuts.... mistakes and all 8)
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7280436
I'm your creation, it's me that you've tamed
now the stars are ablaze and my soul is aflame
the feelings we share have yet to be named
I'm your creation, it's me that you've tamed
*******************************************************************
This is just the first verse....
and it has a chorus (where the chords start to change).
I didn't [sing] the chorus because I made the verse part too short! :lol:
Lucky for me, because I would have HAD to sing that in key with the slide part! LOL!
Though, I kinda like the way the slide comes right in like that: might just leave it that way :wink:
Ken
"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway
"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles
Ken,
Definitely an intriguing start :D The guitar parts have character :D ....I'll have to wait and see if this 'love creation' blossoms or goes wrong...Since Dante's love interest was already in the afterworld when he started his journey, you got me guessing where this might be heading :wink:
James
Yeah, guitar parts have a nice character, but really needs to be expanded. Think thematcially - what are you trying to convey? Brainstorm different directions you can go with this. I'm thinking you could either expand on this song itself or use it to transition into other songs along the same theme (like Pink Floyd's "The Wall" or the b-side of "Abbey Road"). At any rate, don't stop here.
I actaully quite like the idea that after "being tamed" that "now the stars are ablaze and my soul is aflame" - by being tamed, it focusses our energy, rather than making us dull. Nice
Jeremy
And my Soundclick Page to listen to my song submissions: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=903876
I may sound a bit out of touch here, but what's "emo"?
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
Hey :D
Thankx for the replies guys 8)
Emo - Well, it was listed as acoustic at the get go, so I thought that I should change that.
Seeing as it's just a demo, and a partial one at that, I immediately pulled it from the charts -
so, I figured I could put it in just about any catergory :wink:
James - Thankx.... In the original version (with two more verses), the outcome isn't too good, lol.
I'm really not all that sure why I have it titled 'Dante' - I vaguely remember that I was in fact reading Dante at the time that I wrote this, and it may have colored the other two verses.
They certainly seem out of touch with this first verse - which I wrote on a beautiful summer day while sitting at the park with my son :)
The outcome was originally dictated by an argument that I had gotten into with my former wife....
In fact, the 'I'm your creation' line was from the argument, and spoke of creating monsters in many forms and giving life to them.... then regreting it, at the expense of the monster no doubt (much like Frankenstein's Monster).
(Strange bit of Synchronicity - Steppenwolf's 'Monster' is playing right now! LOL!)
So that's how it started.... sitting in the park watching my son on a beautiful day afterword moved it toward the positive though.... and that's where the 'It's me that you tamed' part came from.
My favorite book is St. Ex's 'The Little Prince', and my favorite chapter is Chapter 21, wherein The Little Prince meets a Fox who begs to be 'tamed' by The Little Prince and in exchange, The Fox gives him the gift of a most precious secret.
So, as much as I like the verse, it has always given me the mental image of Frankenstein's Monster, meets The Little Prince! LOL!
So, yes Jeremy.... it was something like having someone go thru the motions in a bit of a haze, and then
meeting someone who makes them come alive.
Now they become aware that they have a soul, as it's burning with love & desire.... they see the stars 'for the first time', kinda thing.... with 'New Eyes' and a new appreciation.
It's one of my usual themes.... I have a few verses along the same lines.
As I said.... it originally ended badly; Perhaps I should give it a happier ending now :D
Thankx for making me analyze this :wink:
Ken
"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway
"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles
All I can add is - sounds good so far. Like the slide, wanna hear the finished version. Buy some bloody strings!
Hope you get this finished, Ken - the teaser you've posted sounds like you're on to something.
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
