SSG11-Week19 Maybe

Hi James
Good song and nice mp3. I think I would like to see more of a conclusion maybe (excuse the pun) in the last chorus. As it stands the song pretty much just narrates the series of events without concluding the central point. Maybe they should ....what?. Don't get me wrong I think the 'maybe they should(s)' work well throughout the song its just that I want some closure.

cheers
Paul

Hi Paul,

Thanks for the listen and feedback :D
Maybe they should ....what?.
I was trying to have the chorus have different meaning after each verse....Pat Pattison is big into that, but I find it quite difficult......

so the idea was "Maybe secrets should stay hidden"; "Maybe those with loved ones should be leaving the bar"; "Maybe strangers should find solace through physical intimacy (even though I don't advocate this POV :wink: ); and "Maybes" should mean "I won't call you" (version 2) ........"I don't love you" (version 1)...........(originally) "Maybe they should 'see' each other.....one meaning....get to know the person in the skin.....and second meaning...continue/start a dating relationship

........and I know I don't like "Maybes" in a song.....maybe David knows too and that's why he put it in this assignment :twisted: :lol: .............but maybe Renee will approve :P

....for me "maybe" stands for indecisiveness/options and the minor 3/4 set a darker mood......so the premise of the song is a meet up at the bar- one night stand- booty call- "maybe" leading to something more later, but untold....

Thanks again.

James

Hi James

I like revision 1 best.
Maybe the morning strips the sheets
A tip on the nightstand for the mess
Maybes don’t mean I don’t love you
Maybe they should

that was the line I was after :D . That line is so powerful because it puts all the other "maybes in context" and gives me a sense of the reason for the song. Also he could be talking to his mistress or he could be talking to his wife, so there's still some mystery there :wink: .
Maybes don’t mean I won't call you ok, but not as good as the other one IMO.

cheers

Paul

Hi James. Good job - as expected! :)

I enjoyed the playing and singing and the lyrics were suitably intriguing. There were some good images to get you thinking but still enough mystery left (as Paul mentioned) to leave room to discover more, or to think of new interpretations, on future listening.

Chris

Hi Paul and Chris,

Thanks for the listen and feedback :D

POOF changed back to "Maybes don’t mean I don’t love you" :mrgreen:
the lyrics were suitably intriguing.

I wasn't planning it like that but when I reread the lyrics I realized how I had changed some key words that opened the story up to a broader interpretation.

I guess that's why it's important to keep fresh eyes on the lyrics after rewrites, because that's where assumptions can creep in.

Thanks again.

James