I keep thinking I'm ready to get back into things...
(or, as Bullwinkle J Moose would say, "This time fer shure!")
Thirty-five Days
This time it's the lungs they say
She tells me on the phone
I guess it's always someplace new
Some organ, tissue, bone
They hunt it like a monster
That has the village terrified
They kill it over and over and over
Yet it still finds a place to hide
Thirty-five more days of treatments
Radiation therapy
And then a week or so of tests
And then we'll wait and see
Her anniversary's in August
Forty-seven wedded years
But her plans run just 'til April
'Cause she can't say she'll be here
Maybe this time they will get it all
Wouldn't that be a surprise
But for now she'll measure out her days
One treatment at a time
Thirty-five more days of treatments
Radiation therapy
And then a week or so of tests
And then we'll wait and see
This time it's the lungs they say...
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Peace
That's heavy... I like it though.
"They hunt it like a monster/ that has the village terrified"
Good stuff. Good good stuff.
-Marv
Hi'a David,
Grand to see you back again, missed reading your work !
Lovely heart felt song, brought back loads of memories of going through a similar situation this time 4 years ago, when I watched someone going through "treatment".
A sign of a good song when it brings back memories
Go well
Jamir ;)
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
David
Another high calibre piece, very moving indeed. Certainly touched a nerve with me as well.
My only change (and I dread to make that) would be to change the last line to:
I guess we'll wait and see.
To me this piece is written from a realtive's or friend's perspective almost as an overheard conversation and personalising that last line just makes it that touch more overheard.
Excellent stuff
Bob :)
You are what you eat, eat well
Thanks folks for the comments. I'm thinking I still need a lot of tinkering here - I'm positively dreading Nick reading the last two lines of the second verse! ;)
Seriously both verses start out well and then meander, the second one ending in an absolutely awful cliche. This is what comes with writing at six in the morning!
I like your suggestion, Bob. I think I was trying to make it a little less personal and you're right in that I'm diluting the song that way. Thanks!
Peace
