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SSG2- Week 14- Saundra

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(@saundra)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

"Beige"

Tedius and dull; time passes by
Always the fan, never the player
Experiencing everything second- hand
A passenger in the back seat
Blending in with the scenery

Beige is this tired existence
Never clashing or complementing
Helpless, numb, captive, watching
Hardly there but not transparent
Beige is being and not living

Passive, waiting, complacent, conceding
Why do such things happen?
Wondering why life has no meaning
Being the victim is a symptom
Having no vibrancy is the disease

Beige is this tired existence
Never clashing or complementing
Helpless, numb, captive, watching
Hardly there but not transparent
Beige is being and not living

Drifting in a prescription stupor
Unmoved by the colors of life
Protected from passion's reds and yellows
Hiding from life's blues and greens
Fading, un-noticed, into the background

Beige is this tired existence
Never clashing or complementing
Helpless, numb, captive, watching
Hardly there but not transparent
Beige is being and not living


   
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(@jamir)
Honorable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 434
 

Hi'a Sandra,

A great piece of writing but me thinks a tad difficult for singing ! as the meter differs here and there and it is farely lengthy . ( Sorry i have this thing about looooong songs as it is really hard on the audience, unless you are singing for a bunch of muso's.)

What style did you have in mind, let me know so I can re read it.

Do well
Ja'mir ;)

I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com

you can hear my songs at :

http://www.mp3.com.au/artist.asp?id=21709


   
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(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago
Posts: 0
 

Saundra,

I really like the unique character of this song; especially:
Beige is this tired existence
Never clashing or complementing
Helpless, numb, captive, watching
To me, that's exactly what beige is.
Like Jamir, I'm curious what you had in mind here, in terms of melody.

Also, I can see this as a really good poem (with a bit of tweaking).

Cheers,
SP


   
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(@saundra)
Active Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 9
Topic starter  

As always, thanks for the feedback.  

My intention with this song was to be fast and punk-ish but still somewhat melodic.  

Please feel free to "tweak" away at my verses.  I'm interested in your points of view.


   
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