Cup of Death
Drinkin' in the dark all alone.
Nothing left of me
since you've been gone.
Grab my guitar and a cigarette
Then have another sip from this cup of death.
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I'll Show You
You've run me up
And down the other side.
But, I‘ll show you.
I have my pride.
I'll show you
What I'm made of inside.
I'll show you.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- "WOW--What a Ride!"
First one didn't do much for me. Â I would organize it
a bit more.
Second one was very good.
BTW...is your pic Janis Joplin?
First one didn't do much for me. Â I would organize it
a bit more.
Thanks. But, could you be a bit more specific here? Yes, it is Janis Joplin.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- "WOW--What a Ride!"
I quite liked the first one apart from the last lines:
Grab my guitar and a cigarette
Then have another sip from this cup of death.
I'd suggest
Suck on a bottle and a cigarette
Another hit from this cup of death.
Second one was fine.
Good stuff
Bob ;)
You are what you eat, eat well
I like Bob's fix too, but I think it works even better
if we put it back in the blender....
This does more for me:
Drinkin' in the dark alone.
Not much left since you've been gone.
Just this guitar and a cigarette
chased with a sip from this cup of death.
Your idea was really good...just needs a better beat
in my opinion.
Yeah after re-reading it several tiems I'm agreeing with both of you. Thanks. ;D
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- "WOW--What a Ride!"
I like what you've done with both, they were mine's ;D. For Cup of Death, this is definatly a new direction, I would never have thought of that, and I'd say I like what MJBird suggested as an edited version, perhaps. For I'll Show You, I don't know about the last line being there. It seems a bit out of place...or is it just me? ;)
Good work
Laura
