Hey!
No need to label these stanzas this week - you all know the structure!!!
I call this:
Dominant Sound
I want understand you but I know I never can,
You're all diminshed fifths and stacked thirds to me.
You get that indeciferable look in your eyes
And I forget what key this is even meant to be.
I've never had perfect pitch,
I've never learnt to sight read
And one day it'll be the end of you and me.
I'm caught in a circle of fifths
With no way out but down,
Here your silence is the dominant sound.
I want us to be together in perfect harmony
But when I get home these days you're never there.
You leave instructions round the house on post-it notes
But what you write in 3/4 I'm still playing in 7/8.
I've never had perfect pitch,
I've never learnt to sight read
And one day it'll be the end of you and me.
I'm caught in a circle of fifths
With no way out but down,
Hear your silence is the dominant sound.
Your key in the latch is music to my ears,
Your tone of voice is an accent for my fears,
Your packed suitcase is the cadence in my heart.
A bars rest to show that we're apart.
I want a wall of sound to drown out my sorrows,
Something to fill the hole you've left inside of me.
I see the da capo you only see the coda.
I can be sure now you'll always remain a mystery.
I never had perfect pitch,
I never learnt to sight read
And today it proved the end of you and me.
I'm caught in a circle of fifths
With no way out but down,
Here the silence is the dominant sound.
Any comments/suggestions much appreciated.
G
Listen Louder Than You Play
Love it....great use of extended metaphor.....
Great chorus, killer last line.....
I really can't find a single fault with this....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
I agree with Vic. This is excellent. :D
Hi gjbrake,
I think the concept you've chosen here is terrific. But to me, it comes across as very awkward. And given your topic, maybe that's the feel you were going for. Phrases like "diminished fifths and stacked thirds" aren't likely to have the general appeal you typically shoot for in a song, even though they may be familiar terms to other musicians. I wonder if this could work if you used disparate styles of music instead of different syntactical elements of musical notation as your contrasting points?
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
Hey guys!
Thanks for your comments.
It doesn't have the general appeal that some songs have, does it?! To be honest I hadn't got as far as thinking about whether it sounded awkward or who it would appeal to - I tend to write for myself and ignore everyone else! (I'm not suggesting that that's necessarily a good thing)
I like the idea for a song using many styles of music though - I might steal that one ofF you Scratch! For something in the future if not for this - I'll see how things go.
Cheers!
G
Listen Louder Than You Play
