*EDIT* This is a very rough recording I made of this song. VERY rough. It's my first recording I've ever attempted and I even forget the words at one point, but you'll get the idea. http://files.dmusic.com/files/?sec=music
Sorry for the crappy vocals, I couldn't belt it out cuz I'm at university in res and it was 3 am on a Monday.
Hey there all,
This is my first attempt at this exercise. I haven't been around this forum in quite some time but I'm really trying to improve my songwriting and know this is a great friendly place to do it. So here goes :)
I don't exactly have music for it, but it's a sort of country/bluesy/Allman Brothersish/southern rock type of thing if that helps you get the vibe.
Bought Cheap
V:
Well I don't feel the way I used to do
Too many times in in life, I've been hurt by you
Honey you finally broke this camel's back
I'm through with picking up all of your slack
C:
Still I know, it won't be easy
Because, I been in so deep
But I'm done, feeling
Like I've been bought for cheap
V:
It's hard to do what a man has got to do
But I've cried far too many tears for you
So when I'm gone, I'll have a smile upon my face
And you'll have to find some other fool to take my place
C:
Still I know, it won't be easy
Because, I been in so deep
But I'm done, feeling
Like I've been bought for cheap
B:
So beg for me woman, but it won't help you none
Cuz when you get up off your knees, honey I'll be gone
V:
I wish you well, hope you make it on your own
It'll take some work but I'll be fine, even if I'm all alone
'Cause I'm getting back what you'd got from me
I'm free to be just what I want to be
C:
And I know, it won't be easy
Because, I been in so deep
But I'm done, feeling
Like I've been bought for cheap
--------------------------------------
A little generic I suppose, but I literally pulled it out of nowhere. I just whipped out a title and went from there.
Thanks for reading,
Dillon
I use heavy strings, tune low, play hard and floor it. Floor it. That's technical talk.
—SRV
Always did love the Allmans and Skynyrd......get the same sort of vibe from this (a lot more Allmans than Skynyrd, but you know what I mean)......
It's not so easy for a Brit to critique a country(ish) song, we don't get an awful lot of it on the radio over here, but this has a nice comfortable feel to it....loved that line in the first verse, "Honey you finally broke this camel's back....."
All in all, you got a decent song here.....let's see some more from you!!!
:) :) :)
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Thanks Vic, don't worry I plan on posting regularly(ish).
Funny, when I wrote this it wasn't nearly as relevant to me as it grows by the hour. Kinda cool eh?
Dillon
I use heavy strings, tune low, play hard and floor it. Floor it. That's technical talk.
—SRV
Hey!
I like it. This is a great line:So beg for me woman, but it won't help you none
Cuz when you get up off your knees, honey I'll be gone
I probably only like it in a nasty chauvinistic kind of way - but it's still a good line!
How about calling it 'Bought For Cheap'? I wasn't convinced by just bought cheap in the subject line, and I see no reason not to put 'for' in there. Up to you.
Looking forward to more from you.
G
Listen Louder Than You Play
It's not so easy for a Brit to critique a country(ish) song, we don't get an awful lot of it on the radio over here,...
Come now, Vic. You all had the Notting Hillbillies. Personal favorites of mine. But I guess not really country(ish)
Dillon,
I love this piece. Yeah, it's a bit generic, but it's done well, and the meter and rhyme schemes are spot-on. I think the title is fine as-is. You have several terrific lines, it'd be tough to single out some favorites.
The only suggestion I can come up with is to perhaps see if you can trim some of the lines. For instance:
And you'll have to find some other fool to take my place
You can find another fool to take my place.
Bob and Ja'mir have convinced me of the merits of brevity, since I've been participating here.
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
added mp3
I use heavy strings, tune low, play hard and floor it. Floor it. That's technical talk.
—SRV
