when it comes to the advice boy now to this I can swear
I've had more than my fill, had more than my share
I've got a trophy case full of lions, tigers and bears
now you can't catch them all, and most are better off set free
and you can't keep but one, to that even a fool would agree
it's a jungle out there, don't go out and bag the first tail you see
my only advice is to keep your eyes open and stay on your toes
it could be in New Jersey or New Delhi or anywhere round the globe
you only get one chance in this life to catch the jackalope
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I know this one stinks, but maybe it'll enlighten some about the jackalope....
It doesn't stink! It could use a little tightening up, that's all. The first line of the third verse, for instance,
my only advice is to keep your eyes open and stay on your toes
it could be in New Jersey or New Delhi or anywhere round the globe
you only get one chance in this life to catch the jackalope
Assuming you're going with a basic blues style vocal, it's just a matter of simplifying it a little:
You've got to keep your eyes open and stay on your toes
Could be New Jersey or New Delhi or anywhere around the globe
you only get one chance in this life to catch the jackalope
And this line, which could also use a little tweaking meter-wise, is priceless:
it's a jungle out there, don't go out and bag the first tail you see
As always, its' a pleasure to read your writing and looking forward to more.
Peace
