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SSG5 Week 32 - Canadian Egg Roll

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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

Hey all,

When Bob announced that we'd go with a sport theme, the first thing that came to mind was my country's national sport, lacrosse. Scrolling through a list of lacrosse jargon, I came across the term 'Canadian egg roll' to describe a pass that it in one motion turned into a shot while the shooter's back is to the goal. Although I've never heard the phrase before, I have a friend that's a lacrosse goalie, and know that backwards shots like that are a goalie's bane. ( Now you know about as much about lacrosse as I do. )

Anyway, back to songwriting. Originally this was going to be a moody piece about how people turn their backs on you and try to sneak things past you, but with the tag line being what it is, I couldn't take the song too seriously.

No recording. Getting over a cold. Maybe later in the week?

Canadian Egg Roll
©2007 Robert Gowland

Verse 1:
Dawn lights a new surprise
Sky writer testifies
Thought I saw a tear in your eye
'Til you turned and ran for your life

Chorus:
My, my, Canadian egg roll
Tried to sneak another one by you
My, my, Canadian egg roll
I'll find another way to surprise you

Verse 2:
Knock, knocking at your door
Just got back from the diamond store
"Was that a 'yes'?" I wasn't sure
When you fell straight back on the hardwood floor

Chorus

Verse 3:
It felt just like a dream
When I got down on one knee
'Til someone called the police
From three blocks over when they heard you scream

Chorus

Bridge:
How much can my ego take?
Three proposals shot down in one day
If I ask tomorrow what will you say?
Say you want me to try again

Chorus

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Hey

I like this LOT , I relly do like the chorus

I was making the lyrics fit a up tempo sort of thing in my head ,

Whats your take on it ?

Good writting again Robert

cheers

Trev

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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 Joe
(@joe)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 504
 

Ha, I like that, Slowplay--especially the title. Well done. Looking forward to hearing it.

Joe


   
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(@dougjoy)
Trusted Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 59
 

Hey SlowPlay,

First off, thank you for the education on Lacrosse. Now I can speak intelligently. That's an interesting term, and I think you did a great job of taking a sad, meloncholy topic (rejected proposals) and making it somewhat upbeat (not taking the song too seriously) and funny. It was an enjoyable read.

I really hope this song doesn't spring from experience.

Anyway, a couple of nit picky things. First off, the rhyme/semi rhyme pattern - the third verse doesn't really follow the pattern you've laid out for yourself, with "police" hanging out there all on its own. If this is for contrast purposes, then it could work, depending on how you work the tune. But maybe it could be reworked so that the listener trained by the first two verses doesn't balk at the third.

Other suggestion - lose the last line of the bridge. I think that last line kind of ruins the magic of the song, and while it conveys the desperation of the proposer, I think we all know what he wants her to say.

I also had part of me who wanted that line to read "I'll find out once I make bail"

All in all a good song. A little spit and polish should make it shine.

Doug


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Lyrics seem to scan fine to me....I had a nice bouncy upbeat riff going along to this, worked OK with the last line of each verse unaccompanied - or just a single strum at the start of the line.

Like Doug, though, I had a little trouble with the last line of the bridge - just seemed a little weak. I liked his "bail" suggestion too - maybe you could adopt that? Just seems to round things off nicely.

Look forward to hearing it once the cold's gone....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

Hey all,

Thanks for the replies.

Doug, that "bail" line is genius. I went with "Guess I'll find out if you come and post my bail". I have a hard time leaving a funny song alone. Even my Adam West tribute has social commentary in it.

I'm still a little scratchy, but I went ahead and recorded. It probably felt worse than it sounds. You can hear it at:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=337003&songID=5458744

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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