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SSG6 - Week 6 - Somebody -mp3

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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Hi all, this song is sung in a loose kind of bluesy style.

Rewrite:

Somebody
© 2007 Copyright Paul Brady

Verse 1
You could be anyone anyone that you want
when you put your mind to it baby you can be what you want
But you're not inclined and you don't see the why
But you can be you anytime that you try
anytime that you try

Verse 2
And I could be somebody if you want it that way
Anytime that you want all you got to do is say
But you're not inclined and you don't see the why
But you could be you not living a lie
living a lie

Chorus:
You're just somebody
Somebody your not
You're just somebody
Somebody your not
Somebody your not

Verse 3
And if you were that someone the real one that I know
Then that would be something I wouldn't let you go
But you're not inclined and you don't see the why
But you can be you anytime that you try
anytime that you try

Chorus:
You're just somebody
Somebody your not
You're just somebody
Somebody your not
Somebody your not

Original:
Somebody
© 2007 Copyright Paul Brady
Verse 1
Babe you could be anyone anyone that you want
And I could be anyone anytime that you want
But you're not inclined and you don't see the why
But you can be you anytime that you try
when you try ....all you got to do is try

Chorus:
Sometimes you're somebody
Somebody your not
You're just somebody
Somebody your not
Somebody your not

Verse 2
And you can be anything anything that you want
When you put your mind to it baby you can be what you want
But you're not inclined and you don't see the why
But you can be you anytime that you try
when you try ....all you got to do is try

Chorus:
Sometimes you're somebody
Somebody your not
You're just somebody
Somebody your not
Somebody your not

Verse 3
And if you were that someone that one that I want
Then I would be somebody that one that you want
But you're not inclined and you don't see the why
But you can be you anytime that you try
when you try ....all you got to do is try


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@drunkrock)
Estimable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 159
 

I love the chorus, but I found the verses choppy and hard to voice.
But you're not inclined and you don't see the why

I think the line should be changed to:
But you're not inclined and I don't see the why


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Thanks for the feedback DR, yes the verses are a little unusually phrased, they are sung with a slight pause in the middle of the line, in fact they really could have written as two lines. For me its verse 2 that I'm not happy with, verse 1 establishes the scenario and his relationship within it, and verse 3 reinforces that dependency. But verse 2 for me doesn't really add anything to the story. I'm thinking maybe something more about him in there instead.

Ideas ?

Paul.


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@portia)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 179
 

I actually didn't have any trouble with the phrasing/rhythm - it seemed to work when I read it. I do agree that the second verse is weaker than the other two - that it didn't add much. I think with that much repitition in a song, you have to make sure that the bits that are different REALLY make an impact and add to the story as much as possible. second verse could maybe be about what the "I" character wants more to balance it (and would lead into the third verse that way) ... I'm not sure exactly where you are coming from but (assuming this fits in at all with your meaning) maybe something about you being you is the one that I want kinda thing or the one that I want's not the one that you're not or something to that affect ... just a thought.


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Thanks Portia,
Ive had a little rewrite, I'm still not that happy with it but I think it has better direction now than it had.

BTW nice to see you back here again

cheers

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Ive posted an mp3 here:

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6084140

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@drunkrock)
Estimable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 159
 

It turned out quite well, with great vocals and harmonica lines!


   
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(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Hi Paul

" You could be anyone anyone that you want "

What a great line mate , that is terrific ..

Once again you post a truely remarkable MP3 and I think your voice is actually getting better with age , I mean I think your singing now is better than a year ago ...

Thanks for sharing your talents

Cheers
Trev.. :wink:

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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(@ccourtney)
Trusted Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 62
 

Ive posted an mp3 here:

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6084140

cheers
Paul
Paul,
Well done mate! I love the bluesy groove and phrasing- it begs to be played "plugged in." Its got a cool summer radio feel to it.

Chris

http://www.myspace.com/courtneychris


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Thanks Trev and Chris.


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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