New to forum and very new to songwriting. Intermediate (at best) guitar player that recently started trying to write regularly. I'm in my 30s, and wrote this from the perspective of looking back trying to grasp the feelings of the year. Also, Sound of Silence came out in 64 so had to work it in. Haven't tried putting this to music yet.
1964
If what happened then
Was happening now
I’m sure it'd look different somehow
But in black and white
It barely seems real
And I still can’t understand how
It took crosses burning
To get the tide turning
I guess the sound of silence
Had gone on so long
It took a freedom summer
To show we were wrong
If what happened then
Was happening now
Maybe I’d see the other side
Didn't war in our streets
While dodging war overseas
Overshadow the ones who died?
But with the false flags
Came thousands of body bags
I guess the sound of silence
Had gone on too long
It took a war at home
For the other to be wrong
One thing I’ll always wonder
And maybe never know
How an invasion overseas
Came in second to one at home
Maybe the sound of silence
Had gone on too long
And in the end all we wanted
Was to hear a new song
Maybe in the end we all want
To hear a new song
###
Hi ChaseMartin,
Welcome to SSG :D
Looks like you're off to a good start on this one. I like the idea in theses lines:
If what happened then
Was happening now
I’m sure it'd look different somehow
Suggestion:
Consider taking out the personal pronouns of "we"/"our" as you stated early in the lyrics it was before your time.
example.....
To show we were wrong......To show WHAT WAS wrong
Didn't war in THE streets
Maybe the sound of silence
Had gone on too long
And in the end all we wanted....And in the end all THEY/THAT WAS wanted
Was to hear a new song
Maybe in the end we all want.....Maybe in the end all THAT'S wantED IS
To hear a new song
Take or toss the suggestions as you see fit.
Thanks for sharing.
James
I'd call that pretty impressive for someone who is new to songwriting.
Interesting that you wrote this from the perspective of seeing it now and not really understanding what went on. My own (unfinished) attempt to write about 1964 also deals with not understanding what was happening, but from the perspective of being a kid at the time.
One clarification, what do you mean by "false flags?"
Renee
Thanks for the feedback from both of you - really appreciate it on my 1st song here!
1. I agree on the pronouns - good call, it will make it flow better. I'm toying with a slight ending tweak while incorporating that change - perhaps weaving my opening lines back into the end.
2. Re: "false flag": the Gulf of Tonkin incident that really led to the Vietnam War as history knows it is still seen by many as a"false flag" operation, where essentially what the public was told about the incident wasn't the whole truth. Looking at my lyrics, should probably change the plural "flags" to "flag".
Working on slight rewrite - thanks again for the feedback!
