Week #19 – my first submission – written in five minutes so that says it all.
I'm wanted
I am wanted bad by many
Not for terrible things I've done
For what seems like anything
Anything at all
I'm in a crowded bar
So loud I cannot think
Someone on my left is speaking
Can't make out a single word.
I feel like I am drowning
Their hands reach for me
But not to help me out
For things they want from me.
Everyone has an opinion
And they voice them at their will
They don't wait for my response
On to the next best topic
The details do not matter
It's the order I can not take
The order for my attention
The orders that never end
It's always nothing new
Same old and same old again
To them it's life and death
Solutions must come fast
And they never take a breath
Some things they say are really rude
I don't think they hear their voice
They never take an interlude
I don't think they have a choice
They try so hard to convince me
Prove every fact and supposition
Gesticulate with hands a flailing
Like Houdini the great magician
I try to act with interest
I nod my head in time
A facade that can't be guessed
Perhaps that IS my crime
So maybe it's all for the better
These people who want me
I feel now I am their debtor
I now begin to see
You don't have to see the top of the staircase to take a step - MLK
Welcome to the SSG! For a first submission, I would say that it is a five minutes well spent. Thought wise, I really like what you have to say and how you are saying it. A couple of minor things that threw me off . . . . .
One was your use of rhyming . . . . . random as if you used it when it was convenient and didn't bother when it wasn't. It made the read a little rocky for me. Too, the word "Gesticulate" doesn't fit in real well. Perhaps something like "Speaking with lips unmoved and hands a flailing." And by the way, I really like the image there "like Houdini the great magician."
Otherwise not too shabby for your first. Look forward to seeing more of you here.
Neil
