Ok....Wrote this.....see what ya think.....um...not much imagery...but.i dunno.........
Night Water
Standing by the water I could see the sun shine
Scattered across the surface like a blanket of light
I could see the reflection of the world passing me by
As I broke from this serenity to look towards the sky
If we could swim the open waters
To the land of our dreams
I would swim forever with you
Through every stormy sea
To the banks of sand
Where all that we believe
Comes out from the waves
That crash before our feet
In this place
I could fall into my mind behind this cloud of smoke
Fog that drifts before my eyes like all our hidden ghosts
The space between this water bank and the shining stars
Like the distance between us, no matter where you are
If we could swim the open waters
To the land of our dreams
I would swim forever with you
Through every stormy sea
To the banks of sand
Where all the we believe
Comes out from the waves
That crash before our feet
In this place
Rain Shadow
Wow, quick off the mark there, LB.....
Very nice use of imagery, it does show a couple of signs of being rushed though....
Where all the we believe.....where all THAT we believe, for instance....
But that's just nit-picking, it's got a really nice smooth flow to it...like water over glass....
Yep, you got yourself a song here!!!! Nice one!!!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
lol...Thanks for your reply......yeah i admitt i think i rushed a few bits...more in a "write it before i loose the thought " sense, than my usual "im too lazy" sense this time but still.....ill change the mistake ;) lol......thanks for the reply!!!! much appreciated!!
NeM H
+
Rain Shadow
If that was rushed, I would really look forward to one that you take your time on. The space between this water bank and the shining stars
Like the distance between us, no matter where you areWhere all that we believe
Comes out from the waves
That crash before our feet
Awesome lines. I see everyone getting better in the SSG. Keep it up!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
LostBeggining,
Wow! Everybody is putting such great work this week.
This is right there with the best of them.
Good Job
Celt
