Dante Alighieri wrote about the Melancholy of Souls, which holds the angels that rufused to pick a side between God's angels and Satan's rebels during the war that created hell. The only way to redeem themselves and get back into heaven would be to serve humans as guardian angels until they are worthy. Here's the song:
I once was cast away.
I once felt myself decay.
I wiped my slate clean
By the way I justified all my means.
I broke my horns off this day.
I watched my wings change from black to gray.
Need to earn my white wings
By saving the lives of the weak.
I try my hardest to do my best.
I'm an angel fighting the hand of death.
Work my way back is all I have left.
I'm the reason for every living breath.
I need my redemption.
I need to go home.
Protect human beings.
My job, all alone.
I found the lung that saved your boy.
I made sure the airbags deployed.
I made it slow and painful when you died.
But it gave you time to repent your lies.
I protected the heart in your chest.
I made the bullet stop in the vest.
It's a shame I don't get credit enough.
Everyone always thanks Lady Luck.
I need my redemption.
I need to go home.
Protect human beings.
My job, all alone.
Sometimes I cant always succeed.
The weight of this burden crushes me.
I can't be there all the time.
When I fail I die a little inside.
I couldn't stop the towers from crashing down.
I couldn't stop them from burning to the ground.
I couldn't stop Katrina's wrath.
I just tried to evacuate her path.
I need my redemption.
I need to go home.
Protect human beings.
My job, all alone.
I inspired the hero that saved your life.
Gave him my sword and hoped that he'd strive.
He took you in his arms.
By the time you kissed, I was long gone.
I was just a ghost in her eyes.
She was deaf to all of my cries.
I was just a miracle she can't see.
Just a pat on the back is all I need.
The only thing that i don't like about this song is that it jumps around a lot. I wanted to explain why he's a guardian angel, the things he's been through, lots of his different emotions, why he's lonely, etc. I really could have a number of different songs made out of this one. Tell this song's story in different songs where each song is a chapter or something. Not a bad idea.
Any suggestions for the name of this song would be great!
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
I agree with you, you try to get to every aspect of this angel that the song looses it's integrity and feels like it's trying to be everywhere.
If you were going to focus in on one part and create a song out of it, I'd highly recommend this part.
"I found the lung that saved your boy.
I made sure the airbags deployed.
I made it slow and painful when you died.
But it gave you time to repent your lies.
I protected the heart in your chest.
I made the bullet stop in the vest."
You've got three verses right there, and I particularly like the middle one, it develops a conflict of interest in the character of this or all angels. It makes him seem flawed and human. Making a man suffer so he can repent. That's gold.
Then you can tell the story of him wanting his wings back in the chorus. You can make him sound dutifull, needy, or just tired. There's a whole bunch you can say if you just focus on the character and only hint at his backstory.
Anyways. If you do write another song off of this I'd love to hear it.
KEEP IT UP!!!
P.s. As for title, how about Black to White.
or maybe endentured servant, HAhahahahaha, Peace.
"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell
Hi
My job , all alone < ---- suggestion for title
I'll add something different here both Saber and your self say it looses something , because of it goes everywhere .
I disagree I think ( my personal opinion ) it brings it to life more
hilch :?:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
I do like the "My job, all alone" for the title, but most of my songs have the title in the chorus. I like to try to name it something that would bring the story to life, or something from a distorted view.
I like Black to White. That sounds pretty awesome.
"I made it slow and painful when you died.
But it gave you time to repent your lies."
Got it right on the nose, Saber. I have to admit, that is my favorite part of the song, too.
I am trying to write different songs about each verse. If I get 'em finished then I'll post them on the songwriting club. Just keep an eye open.
Thanks to all who are posting.
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
