ONCE I CAN STOP PRETENDING
©2005JKovak
HOW MUCH LONGER CAN I GO ON
CREATING MY OWN HELL
I'VE FOOLED THEM ALL FOR SO LONG
IT'S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO TELL
DO WHAT I BELIEVE OR WHAT THEY WANT
WHILE THIS STEEL TRAP UNWINDS
AS IT GETS EASIER AND EASIER TO BE NONCHALANT
ABOUT FOOLING THEIR HEARTS AND MINDS
POOREST OF THE POOR, RICHEST OF THE RICH
I DON'T DISCRIMINATE
I JUST CONTINUE TO SCRATCH THEIR ITCH
AND SEAL MY OWN FATE
SO JUST GIVE ME A SIGN, TELL ME IT'S TIME
HELP ME FIND AN ENDING
I'LL BE JUST FINE, EVEN SUBLIME
ONCE I CAN STOP PRETENDING
AND I CAN GO ON FOOLING NATION AFTER NATION
A HERO, GUESS I COULD BE ONE
IF I CAN GO ON WITH THIS BRAVE IMITATION
WHILE BATTLING MY ANGELS AND DEMONS
POOREST OF THE POOR, RICHEST OF THE RICH
I DON'T DISCRIMINATE
I JUST CONTINUE TO SCRATCH THEIR ITCH
AND SEAL MY OWN FATE
SO JUST GIVE ME A SIGN, TELL ME IT'S TIME
HELP ME FIND AN ENDING
I'LL BE JUST FINE, EVEN SUBLIME
ONCE I CAN STOP PRETENDING
YES, I'LL BE JUST FINE, EVEN SUBLINE
ONCE I CAN STOP PRETENDING
Yo Joe,
Some interesting phrasing there. I couldn't quite make out a rhymth, but I have that problem with my own writting sometimes too.
I liked:
POOREST OF THE POOR, RICHEST OF THE RICH
I DON'T DISCRIMINATE
I JUST CONTINUE TO SCRATCH THEIR ITCH
I can't quite tell what the song is about; sometimes it seems personal (keeping up appearnaces), then I think its more global (politicians, governments and multinationals), but I've only given it a quick reading.
I also liked:
BATTLING MY ANGELS AND DEMONS
Clever twist on a tired phrase.
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Thanks. I purposely left it open to interpretation. And I'd be interested to hear what comes to mind when different people read it.
Hey Joe (sounds like a good title for a song – d*mn its been done)
POOREST OF THE POOR, RICHEST OF THE RICH
Well what can I say, except .. SNAP !!!!!
I like what your saying in this song but I have to be honest and say that the rhyming bothers me. My read on the song is more on the political front, which is why the rhyming kind of detracts from the statement I think your making.
POOREST OF THE POOR, RICHEST OF THE RICH
I DON'T DISCRIMINATE
I JUST CONTINUE TO SCRATCH THEIR ITCH
AND SEAL MY OWN FATE
Definitely works for me. :D
hello there...a good submission....i must agree though about the rhythem..i couldnt seem to get that going but i love the lyrics especially...
SO JUST GIVE ME A SIGN, TELL ME IT'S TIME
HELP ME FIND AN ENDING
I'LL BE JUST FINE, EVEN SUBLIME
ONCE I CAN STOP PRETENDING
i could really relate to it and it rhymed nicely!
Really? I'm surprised you can't get the rhythm. I put music to it that afternoon and it practically wrote itself. I might've cut out a "and easier" or something but otherwise it fit with the music perfectly and I think I've got pretty decent rhythm. I'm a drummer...and I can actually dance, hehe. But thanks. I'll play it for some people and see what they think. As far as the rhyming, that's pretty much how songs come to me. I find it easier on the ear when a song rhymes, not at the risk of compromising the song, of course, but so long as it's not forced I think rhyming's a good thing, but everyone's different. As far as the interpretation, it can relate to things other than politics. Some of the terms tend to give it a somewhat polititcal feel but only if taken literally. On a more metaphorical basis, "nation after nation" can just mean "everyone" and "scratch their itch" can just be, "aiming to please." Just depends how the reader relates to it, and I prefer not to be too specific for the same reason I prefer music without videos. The one playing in my head is usually better than the one on the screen (to me at least.) Anyway, thanks everyone for your comments. Looking forward to next week's "assignment...." Wow "homework" that's actually fun!
Joe
