I was determined to get a song out this week. So I locked myself in the guitar room - it used to be the spare room, but now I've taken over heh heh! - and poured a few drinks and visualised - cast my mind back to when I was a kid. I've got a song out at last - it's been a while! - a minor-key ballad, quite slow, and dedicated to my mum and dad.
Father's Day
My father told me, when I was young,
"Got some advice for you son."
He was a good man, and he was kind,
He knew excatly how to reach my young mind....
"Just do your best, at what you do,
Then no-one can look down at you,
They may laugh, and criticise,
But no-one'll ever say you never tried..."
Every day should be father's day,
Every day I should hear,
Pearls of wisdom, like the ones he shared with me,
And every day, I miss him, he's not here.
My mother told me, some years ago,
"Daddy's gone, he won't be home,
He taught you well, God knows we'll miss him,
Now I have to teach, I hope you'll listen..."
"I know you miss him, and your heart aches,
Just try your best, for your dad's sake,
I'll help you anyway I can,
To be like your father, a good man...."
Every day should be mother's day,
Every day I should hear,
Pearls of wisdom, like the ones she shared with me,
And every day, I miss her, she's not here.
I've passed on to my children
The advice I was given
Grandchildren on my knee,
Hope they listen to me......
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Nice work Vic may I be so bold and offer this ?
I've passed on to my children now you see
The advice that was given / given to me
Now with the grandchildren on my knee
Hope they listen / listen to me
Just my mere old opinion mate , I hope you can pump another one reeeeal soon
Trev.. :wink:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Hey Vic,
This is great. I love the scope of it, 4 generations. A powerful tribute.
My only quibble is with:
He taught you well, God knows we'll miss him,
Now I have to teach, I hope you'll listen..."
"I know you miss him, and your heart aches
Having the phrase so close to itself, especially when it's part of the rhyme scheme, I think it will stick out when sung. I'll have to hear it. ( Hint, hint. :) )
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Slowplay is right.
Great song. I can feel the emotion from the words, despite it's simplicity. Beautiful job, Vic. :)
Good point, Slowplay. How about "I know you're grieving (or perhaps wounded?), and your heart aches".....for the second part?
Haven't recorded anything in a while - this song's on my "to-do" list. Thinking acoustic guitar, fingerpicked, subdued electric guitar for a solo and some fills.
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
First off - well done for getting out of the non-writing patch!
And a really good way to start off writing again as well, Vic. This is great.
My only *tiny* quibble is with the last line in the second verse
"Just do your best, at what you do,
Then no-one can look down at you,
They may laugh, and criticise,
But no-one'll ever say you never tried..."
I think that having the "ever" there makes it a bit of a mouthfull.
"Just do your best, at what you do,
Then no-one can look down at you,
They may laugh, and criticise,
But no-one'll say, you never tried..."
That just flows a bit better for me. But then that might just be me! :lol:
Great work Vic.
Pete
ETD - Formerly "10141748 - Reincarnate"
Hi Vic,
I've read this a number of times now and I'm struck by verses 3 through 7. I think they're great and what makes this song yours. The first two verses in my eyes have been done over and over again and take away from what follows. (I should talk :? ) Just some thoughts . . . . look forward to hearing you record this one.
Neil
hey vic
glad you locked yourself in;-)
i like this song and i'm once more impressed with you already having the music in mind.
as for the "i know you miss him"bit... i like the word "downcast" ... "I know you're downcast (and) your heart aches".... too long? anyways.. just my little idea.
love that the grandchildren come up in the song.... it's a beautiful ending.
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Hi Vic
Good return to form with this one. I like theway the song follows a logical timeline your father, you, your kids your grandchildren. Makes it into a circle of life thing.
One quibble with Last line of verse 2
But no-one'll ever say you never tried..."
to
They can't say you never tried
Easier to read and I suspect easier to sing.
Look forward to hearing this one.
Good stuff
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
