I know we're on week 7, but i just joined the group. I just wrote this off and would like some honest opinions... good and bad.
1st Verse
They know who i am
Yet you have to ask
Send me out to die
It's your appointed task
Chorus:
Ask someone who loves me
They'll say that they believe
In the one who sent me
Their faith is strong you see
2nd Verse
I only showed you truth
Now you want my death
Hang me up on your cross
I cry with my final breath
Chorus
3rd Verse
For what you did
Life's your cross to bear
Your sins may be forgiven
But to be human is to err
Chorus
Tasty stuff.
2Kewl.
Yep, Like it. Lyrics could need some help, a bit confusing. The story line is one I love to write about too.
I will try to break down my thoughts, and remember, this is my opinion only.
I would make the whole lyrics in first person, with two verses and then the chorus due to the short length of the verses
So here is my suggestion
V1
They know who I am
Yet you have to ask
Sent to die
Its my appointed task
V2
I showed you the truth
now you want my death
To hang me on a cross
Till I cry my final breath
Chorus
Ask someone who loves me
Theyll say they believe
In the one who sent me
Their faith made them see
V3
For what you did
your cross now I bear
Your sins have been forgiven
Your salvation I declare.
Chorus..Maybe even twice to add some length to it all.
Hope it helps.
Blessings.
Olav
Thanks Olav. I like the changes that you've made. I find that it does make the song flow much better.
