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Week 41 - Time Marches On

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(@dustdevil)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 99
Topic starter  

Time Marches On

Took a trip back east to see my home town
It hardly seemed the same place at all
The grocery store in town
Years ago burned down
And everything moved to the highway by the mall.

****
Chorus

It doesn't really matter what or who you know
It doesn't matter how many things you own
For in the end you know, all you have is time
And time.........marches on.
****

I drove down Jennings St. to see my childhood house
The place looked tired, empty and alone
The trees, they looked so tall
The house, it looked so small
And the field where we played with the neighbor kids is gone.

(Chorus)

Nothing ever stays the same forever
You can't go home again, that's what they say
So treat your neighbors right
So you can sleep at night
And wake up grateful to the Lord for another day.

(Chorus)

John A.

They say only a pawnshop guitar can play the blues. An eBay one does it better. A guitar's bound to feel unloved if her owner plasters pictures of her over the internet for all to see and then sells her off to the highest anonymous bidder.


   
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 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 908
 

Hi Dustdevil

I like this it's really simple and very well done.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:

My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Dustdevil,

Nice Stuff! I like the sentiment ang the chorus is excellent.

The verses are good but seem like they could use a little
editing to me.

Example:
Took a trip back east to see my home town

Is the word "see" nessacary. I think it would flow better as
Took a trip back east to my home town

Or maybe:
Took a trip back east to my old home town

Likewise on verse 2:
I drove down Jennings St. to see my childhood house

Maybe something like:
Took a drive down Jennings to my childhood "home"

I think the word "home" is more emotional a house is just a
buliding where as a home is a place of comfort.

All and all Good Work that could benifit from a bit of tweaking.

Of course that's just my opinion.

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@dustdevil)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 99
Topic starter  

Dustdevil,

Nice Stuff! I like the sentiment and the chorus is excellent.

The verses are good but seem like they could use a little
editing to me.

Took a trip back east to my old home town

I like it. Point taken.
Maybe something like:
Took a drive down Jennings to my childhood "home"

I think the word "home" is more emotional a house is just a
buliding where as a home is a place of comfort.

I agree. I'm thinking something like: "Drove down Jennings St. by my childhood home"
I like the home idea, but I want to maintain an "emotional detachment", kind of like an outsider looking in. (Which I think fits the message of the song. He is an "outsider" now in one sense of the word.)

Hey guys, thanks for the kind words and keep those ideas coming. I don't offend easily. Maybe after you all fix my lyrics, you can help me with the intro....... :lol: :wink:

John A.

They say only a pawnshop guitar can play the blues. An eBay one does it better. A guitar's bound to feel unloved if her owner plasters pictures of her over the internet for all to see and then sells her off to the highest anonymous bidder.


   
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