Wild Card
I've been folded and thrown away.
Been cast out and looked down upon.
I've been cursed while in your hand.
I'm no king among the pawns.
But this time…
I am the wild card!
Everyone lusts for me.
I can make you or break you.
All the possibilities.
Everything you can achieve by holding on to me.
Make the win for yours to own.
I could be the suicidal king.
Or become his heir to the throne.
‘Cause this time…
I am the wild card!
Everyone lusts for me.
I can make you or break you.
All the possibilities.
I won't die today.
No ace of spades for me.
Now my turn is done.
Looking forward to being drawn again.
So cast me away.
I once gave you victory.
And I won't be there for you.
The next time…
I am the wild card!
Everyone lusts for me.
I can make you or break you.
All the possibilities.
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
Nice song! I especially like the chorus - "I am the wild card" is a very memorable line.
Other highlights are "I'm no king among the pawns" (I would feel obliged to sing "prawns" if I were singing along - the fact that I'm mentally singing along is a good sign) and "I could be the suicidal king / Or become his heir to the throne".
There was one line I think you may have typed wrong, it's "Make the win for yours to own"... sounds like something went slightly wrong in the syntax there?
The only other thing I will add is that by the time we reach the 'bridge' part ("I won't die today" etc.) the continued repetition of the first person perspective ("I this", "me that", and so on) makes the song sound a bit like one of those riddles (e.g. "I am green, I am made of cheese, you can eat me, what am I?"). But that's only a minor point, I think the song would still work as it is, but with a little tweaking it could be very good indeed.
Hi Pierson
I like this a lot but the last line of the chorus doesn't quite work for me. It seems kind of tacked on, for lack of a better way of putting it. And I'm not even sure how to go about suggesting something different. I've toyed around with it for a bit now and came up with:
I am the wild card!
Everyone lusts for me.
I can make you or break you.
And everything in between.
Which kind of does the same thing for me as "all the possibilities!" :wink:
I am the wild card!
Everyone lusts for me.
I can bring you a fortune.
I can bring you to your knees.
Which, while better, is a bit of a cliche. But it does work well with your bridge.
It's a minor thing, though. Great job!
Looking forward to hearing it.
Peace
dhodge I really liked those choruses and it got me thinking. I should have all of 'em in there switching with each verse. That would be pretty cool. With your permission, of course :wink:
"Make the win for yours to own."
Just saying that if you had the Wild then you would probably bring home the win. As for the repeatition, I wanted to have that aspect that the wild card (or otherwise also figured as a low card looking for his time to shine) was singing the song. As it was his moment of glory, he does have the bragging rights. I can see how it gets to be too repeatitive, though. Without the perspective of the card, I would have to change it so it's through the eyes of another. Actually, I should try to make it sound from the perspective of another card. I could make it into a whole other song! Maybe through the Ace's eyes. How he fears that the lower card is gaining the power, or not even mention the wild card at all, and say how he loses his power when there more than 1 of a kind.
We should change the name of this forum from "Sunday Songwriters Group" to "Inspiration." It seems to happen a lot here.
Thanks guys.
There's a thin fine line between hate and rage.
Now watch the line be crossed and break!
Strange as it may sound, you don't need permission to use my suggestions. That's why I make them!
(Note to self - look into copyrighting suggestions to SSG... :wink: )
Seriously, that's the whole reason this board exists. Should you ever be interviewed on the subject of being a songwriter, just mention our names, or at least the SSG. That's more than a honor!
Glad you can use them and looking forward to more.
Peace
