Hey everyone,
This is my first post here. I think this is a great idea. I first noticed it some time ago, but due to being so stinking busy I haven't been able to get involved. Since the point is to make time, that's exactly what I am doing now.
This is pretty much my first stab at writing anything. I jotted a few things down back when I was in my teens, but that was quite some time ago. I feel that this try has a lot of repetition that I need to trim out, but for a first I not horribly ashamed of it.
So, without further ado, dream love real. (geoffrey)
V1:
Young and alone
Searching for someone to hold
Will she be the one
To make my dream love real?
Chorus:
Can you make my dream love real?
Can you fill this void I feel?
If you can, please show me how
To make me dream love real.
V2:
Older and Wiser now
Thought I had found out how
Why was she not the one
To make my dream love real.
Chorus
Bridge:
Who is that over there?
We just met, but I know in my heart
That is is the one......(directly into chorus)
Chorus:
...(from bridge)to make my dream love real
Hey banre,
welcome to the forum. This is a good effort for a first time up.
I feel that this try has a lot of repetition
I agree with you there. Id be inclined to take the
To make my dream love real? out of the verses and rewrite those lines with the same sentiment but in a different way, but leave them in the chorus, I think the repetition in there works fine. I like the way verse1 and verse2 compliment each other. Good job well done :D .
pbee
