Haven't been around much lately, busy and all. I fear that Iv'e gone for the Dark Side here, one of the great things about songwriting is you can pretend to be someone else.
IT WON'T BE ME
You might think you're safe with your latte-guzzlin' buddies
Hangin' out in places where they wouldn't let me in
You can go to night clubs, you can try'n forget about me
With ecstasy and dancin' round to that god-awful din
You can move interstate or lock yourself at home
You can quit the internet, stop answerin' your phone
This game isn't over yet, and there will be an end
One of us is gonna lose, and it won't be me, my friend.
I have been in love with you since that bright spring morning
I saw you by the roadside and helped you change a tyre
I liked every little thing I saw and heard that day
Your eyes, your smile, that little skirt, you really lit a fire
And it's burnin' now these seven years, reduced my heart to ash
You set my engine runnin' and I think it's gonna crash
This game isn't over yet, and there will be an end
One of us is gonna lose, and it won't be me, my friend.
I know about the briefcase you think you're gonna marry
He'll be on the news tonight, a dreadful accident
We could have had a good life, just you and me together, now
You'll see your twenty eight years flash by and wonder where they went
I have only ever wanted the very best for you
But you thought you were too good for me
And now there's nothing else for me to do
This game isn't over yet, and there will be an end
One of us is gonna lose, and it won't be me, my friend.
I can hear the sirens, but they'll find they've come too late
You've brought this on yourself, don't try to kid yourself it's fate
This game isn't over yet, and there will be an end
One of us is gonna lose, and it won't be me, my friend.
Go Deeeeeees, bury this rubbish.
Hey Doc,
Great take on the topic. I love the way it went from sweet to creepy to really creepy.
If you like the song enough to keep working at it, I'd suggest a cursory study of stalker psychology. I believe that most stalkers believe that their victim is, in fact, in love with them. They think they're sending them secret messages to be saved from their current relationships. Such signals include such things as walking past the stalker without even noticing him, or turning on a light switch when the stalker is watching through a telescope (yeah, that's pretty subtle alright). So, instead of such a person saying 'one of us is going to lose', he'd say that he's going to save her. I think it would be just as effective to have the song start with the singer talking about how he's going to save his true love, then slowly revealing obsession as we, the listeners, gain his confidence.
BTW: I'm no expert, but my extensive research into the subject via episodes of CSI should give me some authority :roll: .
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
hey ya:)
this really flows very nicely, I can not read this without a rhythm in my head, which is a good thing, of course.
lots of good lines.. such as
the briefcase you think you're gonna marry
and also this, which I love:
You've brought this on yourself, don't try to kid yourself it's fate
furthermore like the repeating last lines.
it was interesting to read slowplays comment on how stalkers think they'd save their victims. I am not knowing anything really about that topic, but I feel like it could be someone changing from love to jealousy/hate/like if I can't have you nobody else should.
I mean I didn't think the 'one of us will lose' line was awkward or anything.. but that's just my non-expert view :wink:
anyway, really liked this.
cheers,
bluenightangel
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
Yeah, I didn't read it as a stalker either, but more like a jilted lover kind of thing, like Angel said. It could also be a serial killer, and would work great the way it is. They don't necessarily believe their victims are in love with them. They may feel rejected by them (which this guy seems to), and become obsessed with vengence.
