Y10 W47 - Guitar Thief

Andy, an interesting theme, which I had some trouble imagining. I'm not sure whether it's meant to be a parody.

I think it must be a parody because of verse 3.

Parody or not, it still needs some motivation. Why would a horse thief leave a horse to die? Why would a guitar thief smash the guitar? Maybe the owner of the guitar is a really bad player.

I've never heard the term "robbing you black."

Renee,
Thanks for the comments, I've been reading early modern poetry lately, so was trying out some metaphors, etc.

Hi Andy

I think the first two lines are great and found myself wishing for the entire rest of the song that you'd had more story and less commentary. Don't know why but images of Roy Rogers or Gene Autry waking up to find the beloved guitar gone from the campsite and then tracking down the varmint who done robbed them. Maybe finding that the guitar was being used to woo some school marm or cantina girl.

All the other imagery is fine although very unfocused. Seriously, aside from the first laugh what are the cow chips doing there? I think this song could use a good strong narrative to make it work, which you've more than proven yourself capable of on numerous occasions. Please don't give up on this one!

Looking forward to more.

Peace

Hi Andy,

Good start. I like the chorusy feel of the first part of the chorus.

Suggestion: Simplify the chorus

Verse 1
Outlaws roam the wild west ride the trails today
Where the sun hot as blazes steams cowchips all around
Watch your back keep a lookout eye
Robbin you black when the sun is high

Chorus
There only one thing worse than a horse thief
That's a guitar thief....Yeah, a guitar thief
There only one thing worse than a horse thief
That's a guitar thief....Yeah, a guitar thief

Verse 2 ----I'm not sure this verse adds its weight to the song.....maybe a verse about what a guitar thief will do instead....
A horse thief will jump the saddle and go
Kickin and screamin the palomino
Run em till they're tired and dry
Leave em in the desert sky

Chorus

Verse 3 --maybe get into the mind of the guitar thief to answer "why" he/she does it
A guitar thief is the lowest kind
grabs the smooth neck runs away
smashin breakin takin what he can.....more about vandalism instead of theft
back to the rock then he ran

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3
Lawman tryin to track em down
lock em up throw away the key
Watch the cowboys roundin up-------or-------Watch the guitarists/musicians/string lovers/pickers n grinners roundin up
Guitar thieves in this here town

Repeat Chorus

Thanks for sharing.

James

All the other imagery is fine although very unfocused. Seriously, aside from the first laugh what are the cow chips doing there?
Peace
Dave,
I was feeling unfocused when I wrote it :roll: Random thoughts: my reference points are TV reruns of Lone Ranger, Cisco Kid, Big Valley, Bonanza????? slight motivation for Fastest Guitar Alive or Blazing Saddles. None have yet congealed to something with desire for a rewrite effort, although James comments certainly has taken on a co-write status :lol: , thanks for the suggestions.