Y10 W48 - Don't I Know You?

I changed the words a little and got the recording done and posted. Although this is a true story, I'm thinking that the conclusion needs to be more dramatic.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=11937985

verse:

He said: don't I know you from somewhere?
Haven't we met before?
You caught my eye on the stairs
As you went up to your floor.

chorus:

I want to get to know you again.
Fate has brought us together.
Just how long has it been?
It seems like forever.

verse:

I don't know if this will last.
But you've hit me like a twister.
Did I meet you in the past
Or do you have a younger sister?

verse:

I know that if we talk a while, you'll
Remember meeting me.
Where did you go to school?
Were you at the university?

chorus

instrumental

verse:

She said: you honestly don't remember me,
The way things used to be?
All those times you'd wait at my locker.
I'd turn and you'd trip me.

verse:

You used to bump me in the hall
Because I was easy prey.
You liked to see me fall.
That would make your day.

chorus:

I don't want to know you again,
Though fate has brought us together.
I don't care how long it's been.
No, not ever.

verse:

Yes, you know me from somewhere.
It was yesterday to me.
I can't believe that you would dare
To not remember me.

Hi Renee,

Good start :D It makes for an interesting encounter what with all the changes people go through in high school, some do look quite different in later years; for better or for worse :roll:

Suggestions:

1 Consider grouping the singer's memory lapses and encounter on the stairs to one or two verses.

2 Prosody-the words and music don't fit well. Musically it is has almost a lullabye feel.....very nice BTW.....but doesn't fit with words like "But you've hit me like a twister.".....and ......"Because I was easy prey."....and "I can't believe that you would dare to not remember me."......these are all STRONG emotional statements that don't fit the gentle mood of the music

3 There are some conflicting lines from the singer's point of view....does he remember her or not? Is this there first conversation since school?.....if it is, he's coming on a bit strong and creepy

4 I'm not sure the ending needs to be more dramatic.....he likes her, she was hurt and isn't interested in him. A possible twist might be to lead him on and dump him, but I don't know if it's realistic enough to go through all the "faking" for revenge.

Thanks for sharing and kudos again for your consistency in songwriting. You seemed to have found a flow to make it all come together faster.

James

I've been too busy to check this site for the past few weeks. I'm back for today though.

I gave it 5 stars. Nice story, well told.

Thanks for the listens and comments.

James, I agree that the music doesn't match the lyrics well. I thought the same thing myself. Once a tune comes to me, it's hard to start over. I may end up using this tune with entirely different lyrics.

I was trying to say that the guy knows he has met her before, but can't quite place her. It was a long time ago and they haven't seen each other since. He is, as you said, "a bit strong and creepy." I don't plan to use your idea about her leading him on and getting some kind of revenge. That makes her strong and creepy too. For her, it's just a chance encounter that brings back bad memories.