Y11W22 - The Dress Don't Make the Lady

Nice. I don't know what your planned melody is but I like the concept. Which fork to use? I love it.
I was on a photo safari in Kenya and Tanzania. We stayed a few nights at a tented camp in Kirawira. It was totally elegant. It's the only place where I have ever been where the table was set with the entire silver wear set, including the fish fork.

Hi Renee,

Good start :D

It looks like the lines are conversational except for this one, "But you might not come in here".....

Suggestion:

Consider keeping the song in one physical location or be more explicit about the transitions.....as it is I had to keep going back and rereading b/c it seemed like the location moved a lot....her house, the bar, dinner table, his car, back at her house (either with him or on the phone on another day?)

Also, something in the POV and message seems mismatched. It seems like the title is a bit of a put down to the singer.....saying she is not a lady......b/c the dress is the only reference to being a lady.....all the other things she reveals about herself (presumably on a first date) are talking about not knowing how to "act" like a lady (or sophisticated/cultured lady)...........

.........but here again, it seems unnatural. Most people try to make a good impression or highlight their positives on first dates.....she is pointing out all her short comings......then the last line is a contradiction to the title.....saying in the title the dress don't make the lady and then ending with what will I wear?.............unless it's meant to be comical or a tongue and cheek approach.

This line is a bit unclear as well:
"But I don't know if I can."

Why doesn't she know?

Take or leave as you wish :wink:

Thanks for sharing.

James

Thanks for listening and commenting. I took some of the advice. Rearranged things a bit, changed some lines. I do want to leave in the ideas of going out on a first date, having met the guy in a bar, being insecure in a fancy restaurant, but really liking the guy and wanting to get to know him. So the location still moves around. The line "What will I wear?" was supposed to have two meanings. First, will I be myself or pretend that I'm comfortable? Second, I don't have a closet full of nice clothes, so how do I dress for the next date?

Her's the recording:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=12290954

And the revised lyrics:

verse:

You can pick me up for dinner,
But you might not wanna linger
'Cuz the dress don't make the lady.

chorus:

The dress don't make the lady
And the suit don't make the man.
I'd like to get to know you, Babe,
And let you know who I am.

verse:

We had some fun at the bar.
Didn't know you drove this fancy car.
But you looked good in that suit.

chorus

verse:

I don't know which fork to use
Or how to order fancy booze.
So I'll have what you're havin'.

chorus

verse:

You called me for a second date.
You'll come by Saturday at eight.
What will I wear?

chorus

Hi Renee,

I think the story is clearer now, but I don't get the connection between the 1st date and the title.

In other words, I don't know what the singer is saying about the "The Dress Don't Make the Lady" or what her feelings are about what she is saying......

.........maybe there is a mix of emotions going on as in "real life" but as far as songwriting/story telling, I think it's beneficial to thin slice down to one emotion and state it clearly.

Thanks for sharing :D

James

I liked the recording. It all seemed logical to me.